Aamir Khan - Yet Another Populist (YAP)?

I was just reading an article by Aamir Khan in the Hindu. Now he’s supposed to be a very good man. But when he talks of things he knows nothing about, he is kinda diluting his brand equity.

In the article he says he “would prefer to err on the safer side and say eight to ten percent” should be spent on Health... Did he clear his maths exam? We are talking percentages and not absolute numbers. If we increase the spending on health, we will have to cut out some share of some other spending ¹. Can he also suggest where we should reduce GDP spends? Defence? So next time a 26/11 happens, we should question Aamir... Or Education? So next time a poor chap is unable to find a job because he can’t fill up the employment form, lets blame Aamir... Or Infrastructure? Next time you take 8 hrs to cover the 240 km from Delhi to Chandigarh, call Aamir, I’m sure he’ll charter a flight for you with the money he is making by airing his “well-researched” one-sided views².

That is a malaise of the “Social Sector” workers. They throw numbers like "X% of Indians do this while Y% can't even do that. If only Z% did this, ABC% of population would benefit". You can't argue with their numbers; they are hard truths. They believe in a cause which they believe is bigger than themselves. Excellent! They are entitled to believe in a solution too... Even better...! That’s why these 6%, 10% numbers come in... Let these "civil society" members create a mock government - come up with a 5-yr plan. I bet they cannot come up with a solution to please everyone - because each of them wants the bigger share of pie - like I might personally believe the largest chunk should be spent on education (alas I'm no Civil Society member else I'd ask for a safe 10.5%)!

The truth of the matter is that "pro-poor" is the "IN-Thing" at this moment - be it the govt or television... How KBC managed to select ONLY people who had a sad story to tell, will always be beyond my understanding. Indian Idol is joining the bandwagon with their oh-so-touching stories. That is plain TRPs talking. Accept it, we are Indians. We like to blame the government. And even more than that, we love sympathising with a teary eye... Who gets the teacher’s punishment for fighting in class – the guy who didn’t cry!

Let me state, on record, that I'm not "Anti-Poor" as many people would respond... I do my bit and I'm not going to blow my trumpet on a public forum by detailing what is that bit... Should anyone feel the need to verify, they can come to me anytime... But that bit is definitely more direct than demanding the government do more!!

Just that I feel, there are two kinds of charity – one which enables people to find their own solutions, and second, provides them readymade temporary solutions. An example of the first would be “subsidising text-books” – to fully utilise the ‘charity’, the kid will have to study. An example of the second would be “blanket farm-loan waivers” – next time, when the fertiliser doesn’t come for free, how will the farmer sustain his expenditure on giving his house the Royale uplift!!! The second charity is almost always misused.

Remember that old saying about the fish and fishing? There are only finite fishes in any one pond – you teach the man fishing, he’ll find his own fish in any pond – who knows he might even stumble upon shrimp! Government can give fishes – in fact populism (the dictionary word for “pro-poor”) is just that... But where does the government get the money to buy these fishes? From those who know how to fish! But how long can you continue, one day the fishermen are ultimately going to stop fishing in your pond (FDI, FII)...

And let me add, not just charity in the form on money - also in the form of share of voice... Aamir is ultimately the "show stopper"... He wants your attention too. If you give him your blessings of too much share of voice, it will be misused! And how do you misuse the share of voice, by ensuring you garner even more share of voice by sensationalising stuff... (Also in our case, shedding a few tears at the right moments!) When blessed with a magic lamp, what is the third wish of an intelligent man? Three more wishes...

PP

¹ - GoI spends 20% of GDP. Aamir wants 10% of that to be on health. Good luck with the other sectors.
² - As indicated in SMJ vs Dr. Sreedhar case, his research may not be a true depiction of reality but one man's view of it.

All that's Evil is IPL....

Confessions on an online shopaholic…

Full Disclosure: I’m an ‘online shopaholic’

It was a Friday evening and I had just received my salary in my account. While I logged in to check if it reflected in my account, I decided I should check my mails meanwhile…. And the first mail there – Deal of the Day from Tradus.in – Brilliant specs and an even better deal on a pair of USB speakers. God, it was even branded Logitech, definitely a good name in the sound world. Did it even matter that I listened to music once in a month – and that too on Sony Mix? But damn, this deal was too tempting… And the rest, as they say, is history. The head of my bed is now adorned with two beautiful black speakers – which are perfectly and uniformly covered in grey – the grey of dust…

I used to read a lot once. Books were indeed my good companions in those journeys and after hours of the nights I ‘studied’ late. I loved collecting books – and, what is more, I read them too. And then I joined Engineering. Gaming took over reading. And thus I started loving collecting PC games – original and pirated. I forgot all about reading – 12 hours of a normal day were spent in gaming and around 6-8 more in Sitcoms and Movies – all on PC.

So when I saw this Flipkart.com, the love for books suddenly found voice, again. And lo, I found myself ordering 6-7 new books every month. There was one major difference though – I didn’t have the time to read them. But when has a bibliomaniac cared about reading books – it’s far more important for him to have a book than have read it too. So the window sill was now full of books. Colourful and diverse. Religion and History. Fiction and Self-Help. Comic books and Classics. Hard-bound multi volume box sets and short stories. But how many did I read, well, lets not make me too guilty of being a spendthrift…

And then, when I realized I had too many books, gaming took over. Got myself a spare keyboard and a wireless Bluetooth mouse. Bought three PC games. Even almost bought myself a PS3…! And all those still lie in my cupboard untouched.

Thought, wouldn’t it be good if I had a decent binoculars in my travels to all these exotic places. Got myself one. That turned out to be a damp squib – but who said anything about stopping… Got myself a better one – and all online without even getting a feel of it.

My phone was purchased online, after scouring 12 different websites which carried the similar phone – all for the best bargain – in this case, Rs. 1000… And of course when I was buying a phone, the screen guard and Bluetooth came along – so that was purchased additionally…

I wouldn’t lie, I have spent many an hours of my weekend surfing the net looking for “better deals” on things I didn’t need in the first place! And trust me when I say this, there is no better place to window shop that the online world. You not only see the different designs and models but also the best prices…

I’ve heard people (let’s not be sexist here) say that retail therapy is the cure for acute and severe depression. For an online shopaholic, a reluctant one like me, it sure is not...

The Marketing Coup...

While CNN-IBN debated the imaginary (or IE would like to believe otherwise) coup, there has been a coup going on for years - the Marketing Coup... Would I be right when I say that the Indian male has been left hapless and proven to be extremely vulnerable to marketing attacks? I'll just prove my point below...

All of six years ago, all my closet had in the name of “Personal Grooming” was a small kit which contained a Head & Shoulders shampoo, an Old Spice Deo, a safety razor (the legendary ‘Red’ Vector Plus), a shaving brush and a Palmolive Shaving Cream (with 30% extra).

Then, about two years later, when I had got my first job (though I didn’t join is a different matter), I bought myself a Mach-3 – it had three blades as against my twin-blade Vector!!! I also added a Davidoff Cool Water though with extreme caution and reluctance. Little else changed.

Then, after I had got my first salary (just the internship, mind you), I bought myself an aftershave liquid – of course it was the age-old white bottle in a red pack – Old Spice – the music and the visual of that man surfing the waves was far too enticing for me to save my hard-earned money - and of course, Old Spice was the "Mark of a Man"...

All this while, it was just the bare-boned shaving accessories, a shampoo (the variant did not matter), a Deo for daily use and the perfume for those special occasions...

But a devil – some called it being ‘metro-sexual’ – was waiting in the closet – quite literally... And I didn’t quite stand a chance against the armies of multinationals wielding the new-age weapons of marketing...

Soon, a new Deo, this time a Lomani was added. I felt I needed a change sometimes from my strong Old Spice... And the barriers of self-control were broken...

Within no time, the Mach-3 got converted to the more expensive Mach-3 Turbo! I added another after shave splash – this time with the international flavour of Gillette. Later, when Gillette launched the after-shave lotion worth Rs.399 – I felt compelled to purchase that too – that it has the efficacy it promises is another matter but 399...!!! Suddenly, the 399 felt like worth it where just two months I didn’t even feel the need for it!

One day, suddenly feeling the urge, I decided to Google the best shave... and alas all my myths were shattered... Where I had thought my usual soap to be good enough for my face, I realised I needed a scrub before the shave “For Best Results”... And that was another Rs.199 down for the new Gillette Scrub... Suddenly exfoliation was as important as splashing water!! And of course, the shaving cream had to go... It was going to be Series Gel (and later Fusion Gel).

Then I discovered my favourite H&S had variants for different types of hair...!!! All this while, there were only two kinds I knew of – Washed and unwashed. So after some self-rationalising, I decided I had dry hair – and thus I needed a shampoo with higher quantity of conditioner – so the Smooth and Silky variant was added. Of course, for freshness, the Cool Menthol continued... And one day, my sister introduced me to the world of conditioners that were to be used after shampoo – and she convinced me to buy a Dove conditioner! Alas, soon I discovered that normal conditioners negated the anti-dandruff effects of the shampoo – I had to buy an H&S conditioner now! So now my closet has a Cool Menthol for those usual days, a Smooth & Silky for those days when I’ve been exposed to lot of dust and grime – and of course the latest addition – the S&S conditioner...

While all these years, I never had flaking skin (or did I not notice it). On further consultation (with my expert sister again), I was told I need a moisturiser for my face and limbs... So a moisturiser for the face and a different one for the limbs got added... And of course, my sister wouldn’t have anything to do with me telling that I didn’t need a sunscreen... One with SPF 15 it was, as apparently SPF 15-24 is recommended for daily use for my kind of field job!! Where, I was unaware of the term “SPF”, I was now using one...!!!

And suddenly one day, soap appears to be too “drying” on the skin – and hence a body wash suddenly finds its space on my shelf...

I’ve till now curbed my desire (or is it a need) to purchase the Olay for Men or the Garnier Men products – but I never know how long I’ll hold myself...

And now I wonder, has human skin (mine) changed so much in 6 years that where none of this was required or should I say in marketing parlance – needed – or more specific – “felt the need for” – suddenly the market is swelling with “beauty and grooming” products for men...!

Or the truth, Men just too gullible for the directed marketing activities of the multinationals and susceptible to the pressure of the kin (usually female) to “look and feel” better...

Damn, all this typing must have scarred my fingertips – I’m sure a new product is on the way...

Ek anokhi Kahaani...

‘Thriller’ is a genre that Bollywood doesn’t really know to make. The last decent thriller I remember was the Nana Patekar starrer Taxi No. 9-2-11. For a while even RGV had kinda thrilled the audience (Remember Kaun?)... And then came Kahaani!!

Contrary to many comments, the film is NOT all about Bidda Bagchi. (Well… Did I caution you about spoiler alert? :P ) There is a definite role – a great one at that – played by Vidya Balan as the pregnant lonely wife looking for her lost husband (well… For most part in the movie at least). But the real star of the movie according to me is the strong screenplay backed up by a great story and matching dialogues… Nawazuddin is amazing as the ruthless Khan and Saswate sure instilled fear of insurance agents in me. Rana seems anything but bong... His Hindi is definitely not the Bong-Hindi... For starters, he calls Vidya, “V"idya :P

The story moves at a very brisk pace – quite contrary to the lethargy that the city is notorious for. The intermission couldn’t have been better timed – there were audible gasps just as the theatre lights come on!! No one got up for a Pepsi or pop-corn... You know you got a clff-hanger when all audience want is for the movie to start so they know what happens next! Ok I’m not giving any spoilers here... So, go and enjoy the movie!

The video takes you through the wonderful colours that Kolkata has to offer... That the shooting was done during the Pooja was used to a great benefit. The hues of red and orange, so abundantly used throughout the movie, create the suspenseful mood. Of course there are those beautiful shots of the legendary Howrah Bridge, the Victoria Memorial and the bazaars... There are the quintessential shots of the yellow Ambassadors and the tram journeys that one can find only in this Poschim Bongo city...

Overall, if you thought the breed of thrillers were dead in Bollywood, this is a definite rare sighting of the animal. And Vidya delivers a strong performance yet again... My Verdict – GO WATCH IT....

E-mail Fraud

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Why Facebook IPO is going to fail?

Think of it. I do not believe Facebook IPO will succeed... It doesn't have a long term 'product'...
Thats it...!!!

Rockstar - Definite one-time watch and multiple times listen :)

Just back from Rockstar… One line review: You will definitely like it, might even love it, but will not “enjoy” it…

Warning: Spoiler Alert

The cast seems designed to cast/propel Ranbir into limelight. Shammi Kapoor with a cameo would be happy to see another Kapoor join the league of great actors that we know the Kapoor-stable has produced… Ranbir is brilliant in all roles he has depicted – the Jatt college-goer, the troubled artist and the pained lover… Nargis sure has a long way to go before she establishes herself; her dialogues appear fake – sometimes with no emotion and at other times, overdramatic. I was left wondering why Aditi Rao and Nargis didn’t swap roles…

The cinematography leaves little scope of improvement. Shots of the lake in Kashmir to the customary European buildings and orange rooftops, from frozen jungles to the European meadows, it has it all captured in its best form.

The screenplay and direction is non-linear. Very few directors have been successfully captured non-linear movies. Imtiaz Ali does it brilliantly. The movie shifts from one flashback to another to present without warning. Probably maintaining consistency of Ranbir’s look was the motive. The motive was well served – despite rapid shifts in timelines, the movie appears seamless.

The story is not that great but then I suppose it was not meant to be. No pretences here – its just a troubled rockstar’s love story…

And why haven’t I talked of the music – well, there is little I can say about it… You have to listen to it to know more. It will suffice if I said, ITS MAGICAL!! Rahman came into the industry with the magical Bombay – this definitely takes that bar far beyond any other in recent years. Oscar or no Oscar, the music is definitely you will take back with you. I’d be shocked if you leave the hall not humming one of the many tunes from the movie… Mohit Chauhan has done it again… Kun Fayakun, Naadan Parindey are absolute gems. Saada Haq is as rebellious as can be – sorta imbibes the image of ‘rock’… And when its Rahman, you gotta expect a mixture – there’s sufi, folk and even a Czech gypsy tune (Hawaa Hawaa)…

Listen to the Music Here

Overall, the movie could’ve been shortened by half an hour or so and still would have achieved the same level of appreciation. If anything, the stretched second half could have been done away with. But a definite must watch…

P.S: I was asked the meaning of Katiya Karoon - literally it means "I will spin your cotton" but I guess it means "I'll do anything for you" in context.
P.S2: Similarly in case you are wondering what Kun Fayakun, it is an urdu phrase said in praise of the lord. It means "Be. And it is."

The Unknown Euphoria

Some days the fate is really kind on you… Those days you will feel an unknown euphoria. You want to jump up in the air and then the mind will tell you to control for this one day is just one amongst the many others where you will want to jump in the air; But directly off a 2000ft stone cliff overhanging a raging sea…

On those good days, you often do not know what it is that made you jump up in air. You never know if this euphoria will last – you sure want it to but fear it might. Just that you are happy and can’t stop smiling.

Or it might be that you know what made you happy but you are afraid if you touch the bubble, it might just burst! Someone pings you to say ‘Hi’ and you check your chat history to be sure it actually happened! Someone calls you and you call back an hour later saying, “Did you call, I’m sorry I was busy that time” though you might have been plucking imaginary petals of imaginary roses to pass time.

Even with that bubble intact, sometimes you wonder if the event was a big enough to get you euphoric. You are like, ‘I drink Coke every day – which special happiness opened today? I talk to people daily, which idol of mine did I talk to today? Or was it my long lost sweetheart calling to say I was missed?’

Or sometimes, you are just plain happy to be happy… anticipating your whole life to be as was today… Hoping you never sleep or even if you do, you wake up with the same euphoria… I shall go to sleep today with this same euphoria… and what is the best part - I KNOW THE REASON TOO :)

Why I believe Anna Hazare is wrong in his means (and not the ends)...

At the outset, holding the democratic process to ransom through political blackmail is wrong. Going on fast-unto-death is illegal (equivalent to homicide) and any person indulging in it should be arrested – doesn’t matter if that person has the backing of a billion Indians (and the remaining million are only the “corrupt” law enforcement agencies).

Now coming to the issue of a Lokpal bill…

I would be going against popular sentiment but dare I say – WE DO NOT NEED A LOKPAL BILL – Neither the “Civil Society” version nor the government version. Here are my reasons for the same:

1. Too few cooks make poison not broth: Our constitution – the Raison d'être of all law agencies – is a brilliant piece of applied thought. It creates three bodies – the executive, the judiciary and the legislative – all of which are independent but completely dependent. What one does can be checked and annulled by the other through justified action. The problem arises when these come together – the exact thing that the Jan Lokpal proposes to do! Hand over power to one person/institution and make him absolute… to make law, decide violations and ensure execution - and what you have is a perfect broth - the only problem being that the recipe being perfect is of 'disaster'...


2. The RTI, the CVC, the CAG – all these are bodies designed to curb corruption – but do they work? So now we create another one – and then five years down the line – another one to supervise the Lokpal... When does it end! The problem is not existence of no control or supervision – its too many controls.


3. The reform process – if taken to its logical conclusion – will remove the necessity of any such bill. I wrote earlier about this – the reforms have created a less corrupt society already (imagine getting phone connections, paying electricity bills, paying taxes, getting a stamp paper without paying bribes even ten years earlier) – the corruption has been pushed up the ladder… Yes, I’m worried when my tax is gobbled up (supposedly) by corrupt (again, supposedly) ministers… But thankfully my day-to-day jobs have fewer hassles now. By slowly making more things transparent, the corruption will be pushed up the ladder – and then out! By adding the Lokpal – we just add a wrung to the ladder which the corruption can climb!

I’ll not go into the problems of the Jan Lokpal Bill – there are far too many that even a noob like me can see (for eg: the concentration of power, the selection panel, the age limits etc. etc.) because I know the end is justified – lesser corruption… In its current form the Jan Lokpal Bill is a situation where (as mentioned in a debate on TV) – If there is a theft in my house, I’ll worry about locking up my house later – I’ll first go to fast to force the commissioner to provide me more police force!!!

Now people say, OK you are just writing blogs – at least we are out here protesting against the government and their corrupt practices! Well I say, at least I’m doing my job right… In the last full year, I can vow to have never paid a bribe -no single rupee. How many of you can vouch for that? I agree I never voted. How many of you accept that? If not, did you or did you not vote for the “right” candidate from the local level right to the MP! We all expect our rights to be honoured but forget the duties that the constitution also mentions…!!!

I’m a firm believer in democracy – I’ve been part of School and college politics myself – no matter how much the elections were rigged – the best people, more often than not, get elected if everyone participates. So once the democratic process is set right, everything comes in place... Here are the electoral reforms I propose:

1. You want a strong Jan Lokpal Bill. Bring a strong “Vote Karo” bill. How about sentencing people who do not vote to 5 years rigorous imprisonment... would you be ready for that? How about giving a tax rebate to people who voted in the last general election?


2. Ok, I want to vote but who do I vote for... So ban people who have been convicted (not accused) of any law breaking/tax evasion from elections. Yes today very few will pass/fail, slowly more will... finally one day (probably 100 yrs from now) we’ll have an unblemished candidate list!


3. Use RTI more. You find some problem – please take the trouble of filing an RTI application. Instead of asking for more governance mechanisms, learn to use the ones that exist!


4. Our courts (and nationalised banks) work for less than half the year – how about extending that? Have more fast-track courts to settle small disputes in a speedy manner... You might not agree to it, the courts (including the lawyers and judges) are highly overburdened for now!!!

Of course, I’m no expert – just another “Aam Aadmi” who fails to see reason for using undemocratic coercive solutions for perfectly legitimate causes. And what is most of all, I do not want to put the blame of my lethargy on a weak system...!!!