Mr. Modi, are you listening?

At the risk of being bombarded with a "You are anti-national" & "You are pseudo-Secular" comments, I'd like to say, Mr. Khan, you stand vindicated!!

Let's not jump the gun here. I am not a fan of this Khan, my loyalties lie with another one, coincidentally, he too feels there is some growing intolerance!

While we are talking of jumping the gun, I'm not saying India is intolerant. But if the current trend continues, will it soon be categorised thus? Well, I hate to think so, but yes, it will be!

Oh, just so I make myself clear, I'm not a fan of Mr. Gandhi or the Congress... I'm an outright Modi fanboy but a rational one. One who doesn't get blinded by the flashing cameras at his international "Rock-Shows", but wonders what is powering those flashes and sounds, is it rhetoric or substance!

And Mr. Modi, you know what is bothering me right now? That, when one of the brand ambassadors of your pet project speaks of a concern, you remain quiet. You do not engage in a dialogue. You chose not look around and understand what caused him to speak such. He might just have been generous enough not to outrightly condemn you, but he also feels that thought of condemning itself was 'disastrous'.

If you looked around, what would you see? Few loud-mouths have been unleashed on an otherwise tolerant India, those who believe that you either support them or 'go to Pakistan'! These loud-mouths, unfortunately for you, belong to the your party. I'm not saying loudmouths don't exist elsewhere, but a pot can't call the kettle black, can it! Unless of course, it never heard of a shiny object called mirror!

And guess what, politically motivated or otherwise, Mr. Khans, did reflect a glimpse of today's India - one where dissent is meet with stones, one which eulogizes George Bush's infamous, 'with us, against us' ideology. These rogue elements have been there in the past, and they were punished by the demos. That you have gotten scot-free earlier, you know what I'm referring to, doesn't mean you will get away again. Your ethos might forgive you, your demos won't. Until of course you speak up, and now. We know you are capable of that. Show us that you have the guts to rout these rogue elements. Cleanse India and your government of this filth.

And as far as Mr. Khans go, now is the time to use them to show the world that the tolerant India indeed is the best place to be, for all the Muslims in the world. Let them tell you what you need to do to "Connect India".

"Nindak niyare rakhiye aangan kuti chhawaye;
Bin sabun pani bina nirmal karat subhaye"

Understanding it "Inside Out"

This one’s for a lot of people
1) For all those who ever read a self-help book
2) For those who ever wanted to know why they behave the way they do
3) For those who ever wondered what emotions are

If you see one movie for self-betterment in a year, see this one. Called "Inside Out", this comes form the house of PIXAR and goes well past the usual PIXAR creatives and fairy-tales, right into your head.

Through a character Riley, which could truly be just me or you, it goes into the subconscious of every human and how emotions govern or misgovern our behaviour.

I’ll not go into too much details of the movie though there are some spoilers here.

It starts with, well, how we are born with two emotions: Joy or Sadness. As we grow, various other emotions take birth in our head, i.e. Disgust, Anger and Fear. All those emotions exist for our good, but when we let any one emotion take complete control, that is when the trouble starts, and the worst of them all, is obviously, Anger.

Each lifestage teaches us somethings and forms a core memory which we fall back on for every future action: Friendship, Family, Fun and Honesty to name a few. These  are core memories which essentially define us, that are a constant source of Joy, in good times and bad. Some core memory might be a source of grief and talks of a time which we would not like repeated.

Joy and Sadness are indeed temporary. When Joy and Sadness fight amongst themselves, they essentially let the other three emotions take control. And if Anger takes control, it is a grave risk to our core memories. The first signs of cracks in core memory of family and friends come because two Anger emotions collide, when none is ready to back down and essentially wants to “put the foot down”. Fear and Disgust are supporting emotions which feed Anger, but Anger takes centrestage.

This Anger then leads to decisions, which an otherwise happy person would not take. Fun and Honesty take the first toll, and Anger continues to grow stronger. The person might want to run away from it all, back to the "Good Old Days" to escape the situations. Joy seem lost in the depths of memory. And if, Joy and Sadness do not arrive in time, the entire structure of the person is soon gone. Will they arrive in time, and how, is the existential question every mind grapples with.

Human mind, through emotions is capable of dealing with any situation. As long as it is a multitude of emotions controlling it. When the response to each adverse situation is any one emotion, situations get worse. You can’t just ignore a bad situation and be happy, neither can you just grieve and do nothing and nor can you just be angry all the time.

And what is more, these emotions are at constant conflict in every human head. Eg: While anger is active in one head, fear might be controlling the other. Not that these two heads can never be together, when Joy is controlling both, they will have a gala time, they will be stronger in family/friendship when Sadness controls both. Joy in one and Joy+Disgust in the other might just create a core memory of Fun!

Philosophical already? Go watch the movie. You will endure 2 hrs of “kiddish, animated movie” but trust me, internalisation is well worth it.

The Smell of Success

The one room that he called his “house” was located in a suburb of Mumbai. It was this house, where he returned each evening after serving tea to upmarket stores at Saki Naka. Being courteous came naturally to him – he was tipped more, some days as high as Rs. 40! He would eat a two-course meal when that happened. Today he didn’t. He got his uniform washed. What would he wear as he walked up the stage to receive the special honour of topping the state board exams! 

The stench didn’t bother him anymore. Nothing indeed smells like success!

Why AAP lost the battle but won the war…

From just another non-descript location in the capital of India, Anaa Hazare catapulted Jantar Mantar to being the heart of the anti-corruption movement. Anna took a backseat before seeing the end of the movement. But the movement didn’t end. His protégé, or as some of his detractors accuse, the puppeteer, Arvind Kejriwal took the movement forward in the form of the “Aam Aadmi Party (AAP)”.

This movement, the AAP phenomenon could’ve been just another political party on the scene. It wasn’t.

They stood for something that many others had taken for granted – corruption! Through their antecedents – educated, modern, forward-looking and young, they captured the imagination of millions of voters who used to consider politics as “that dirty little secret” in the overall scheme of “India Shining”. Facebook and the Blogging world was flooded with long, sometimes heated, discussions on the candidates and policies. Yes, there were accusations leveled, there were hate speeches and angry outbursts, but more importantly, opinions were brought into the open and debated.

As a result, criminal politics, though still not eliminated, was abhorred. Wherever possible, convicts were kept away. Few important judgements were passed by the Supreme Court that further helped this cause. More importantly, because of open debates started by IAC, more voters came into the electoral fray. And we know when more Indians vote, criminals lose! And not just criminals, even hardliners were sidelined. Pramod Muthaliks were disowned by their former political masters and diktats by religious leaders were left ineffective.

The AAP effect didn’t just stop there.

Kejriwal was one of the influential people who led the campaign that resulted in UPA-1 passing the RTI. But you can’t just give a screwdriver to a toddler and hope he will be able to repair a broken watch. You need to teach him what a watch is and how it functions. And then explain what is wrong with the watch. And finally, tell him how to use the screwdriver to repair it. RTI was the screwdriver. Through regular expose and press conferences, Kejriwal demonstrated the power of the tool, the RTI. Over a few months, many “toddlers” became the RTI gurus. Industry-Politician nexus could no longer be hidden. Adani might still get land at Re.1 – but now we’ll at least know why!

AAP might have won just 4 seats but the AAP effect will not stop here either...

AAP lost not because they put up bad candidates. But as a party, their plan had been to highlight inconsistencies and wrong-doings, not what they plan to do about it themselves. That they were bad at economics and worse at politics was known, what really let them down was that they were bad at strategy. Perhaps, by contesting pan-India, they spread themselves too thin. Like every other party, they had a few strong leaders who, given their lack of funds, couldn’t be in all places at crucial times. But what is good for India is that, this inability at omnipresence gave rise to ground-level workforce, who, with the same anti-corruption philosophies as the main leaders, can carry the movement forward. And importantly, bring to notice of the general public, wherever the main-stream politicians do any wrong.

BJP won because of a positive agenda and not divisive politics. Caste equations were ignored. Religious equations, while not ignored, were never stressed upon. Now, the ball is in our court. The moment this positive agenda gets lost and BJP is back to its old divisive politics, we need to give them a rap!

And as long as we keep doing that, AAP would have won the war :)

Life is Short

Life is short. Enjoy it while you can.

Guess I should have seen it coming. He was getting weak and needed a glucose dosage every 6 hrs. And even when he was awake, it wasn’t to the fullest, getting tired real soon. Sometimes, he would stand at a place and stare at nothing.

The hearing had gone down and the voice faded – many times he was barely audible. The dental setup was gone and he needed an artificial tooth. His memory was fading. He couldn’t recall the good times he had stored “forever”.

His connections had become weaker. Even old friends were forgotten. Many times he needed to be reintroduced to them as “new friends”. And just yesterday, even the doctors said there was no further support available.

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And today it happened. It fell and broke its glass. Thank you Nokia 701.

Answers to your 10 Qs Mr Sampath

Read this piece in HT (with Reference to Mr. G. Sampath's book) where the author asks seemingly uncomfortable questions to Sachin Tendulkar. Since Sachin is too much of a gentleman to answer his critics in any other way than making more runs, I thought, as a fan, I might fulfil this hard task for him.

Q1: Why did Sachin remain silent on the match-fixing issue?
A1: Is it actually not possible that he didn't know anything? Think of it like a corporate department - the boss knows something. Another guy is also part of that secret team. And suddenly one day, you hear the launch of a completely new plan. Do yo speak about the plan? You are not supposed to - because you were not part of the team that hatched the devious plan!

Q2: On his and India's opposition to DRS as it would harm his batting averages
A2: Test Match 199, Eden Gardens - First Innings dismissal. I rest my case.

Q3: Seeking exemptions for his car and bungalow as special concessions for his "Celebrity Status"
A3: Asking for favours is human. That he did it openly demonstrates his honesty. Couldn't he have done, with all his money, what a normal human would have done - go and pay a hefty bribe, or in his case, offer the commisioner's kid his bat, and get the same work done? He was just asking for a favour. To honour or not was a government decision in which he had no role to play.

Q4: Not voicing his opinion on important things
A4: Not having a public stand doesn't mean not having an opinion. Rajya Sabha is not just a place for voicing a public stand. it is a place where he can influence opinion. BTW, this question is a contradiction to your second question.

Q5: Choice of Rajya Sabha and Cricket
A5: Huh? What kinda question is that? Have you never done two things together - one of which is a priority? Say attend a family function by skipping a crucial workplace meeting because family comes first? Is your workplace a hobby?

Q6: "Abysmal" Captaincy record
A6: Does the writer know that Sachin QUIT captaincy? He was not sacked. He was not even asked to step down. He just quit because he wanted to concentrate on his batting (Ref: Chandu Borde's statement on the issue). And remember, he was 22 then and nowhere close to the "star" that he is today. Just shows that he knows his limitations well. Next are you going to ask him why does he not win cricinfo fantasy leagues as it involves the same cricketing intelligence?

Q7: Personal records before team player
A7: Does it harm the team if few individuals get personal records on the way? Didn't he also put his hand up to open the innings in the ODI's when after Siddhu, India was searching for an opener? Who doesn't remember the Hero Cup final over when out of nowhere, he took the bowl and left the Proteas clueless! Again, reaching personal milestones is important to every individual. Doesn't in any way mean that he is not a team player. Regarding the Bangladesh match, Mr. Author, he did well not to blame the bowlers who let Bangladesh chase away those runs so easily!

Q8: Performing under pressure
A8: Haha. Desert Storm 'Semi Final'? Hero Cup Final? Chennai Test against Aussies? Shall I continue? Yes there are instances to the contrary too. But doesn't mean he thought of the team any lesser. And remember, the captain of the ship steers the ship amidst troubled seas. Even tugboats can steer it in the shallow waters of the port.

Q9: Public Speaking
A9: Again, haha No comments. Speaking is not his forte. Doesn't make him boring. Trust me, when his bat is doing the talking, no one calls him that!

Q10: On Journalists who suck up to him
A10: Again, No comments. The question without any context doesn't merit an answer!

Now I know why I couldn't read the book. Because, its just not funny!!

Doctor: Between the devil and the deep sea

I’ve seen many “positive” reactions to the Supreme Court verdict that many news channels termed historic and landmark. While the case might be historic, extrapolating it to any and all other medical cases is, however, not good for the profession in particular – and general public at large.

• Disclaimer 1: I belong to a family with a few doctors.
• Disclaimer 2: I’m not a medical practitioner. I’ve not consulted with one before writing this. I’m not in any way related to AMRI or any other hospital for that matter.
• Disclaimer 3: I’ve nothing to say about this particular case but a lot against generalizing this case.

Here’s why:
Have you gone to a car mechanic with a complaint of a weird noise in your engine? How does he repair that? He doesn’t take it to an automotive lab. He doesn’t contact the car manufacturer for the engine specifications and schematics. He puts his ear to your gas guzzler and asks you to turn the ignition ON. He keeps his ear close while making those faces that make you feel insecure about your 10-yr new possession. He suddenly rises from the hood of the car and pronounces to no one in particular – “There is a jam in the valve”. Now he is not talking to anyone. His brain is however working to repair your car. He then calculates and tells you, “It will be done. Do you want a company valve or just any will do? It will cost you Rs.4000. You can collect your car tomorrow.” You haggle about the valve price without having any clue whether 4000 or 1000 is the right price. And finally, a number decided, you entrust him with the vehicle. He repairs it, or if else while trying to repair, finds some other fault, calls you up to tell you that his initial diagnosis is wrong and a separate procedure might be required.

A doctor does the exact same thing with your body!

He has two options:

1. Go the detailed way:
   1. Conduct thorough diagnostics – You never know if a scratch on the outside is actually deep rust from the inside! So better do a x-ray scan of the complete car
   2. Prescribe the best medicines. Why go with a Rs.10 rubber strip when you can go for Rs.200 guaranteed puncture fixers from Dunelope!
   3. Treat it with intense care till it becomes alright. Even if its just puncture, better get the car to a workshop where a team of specialized mechanical engineers from IIT-KGP will work on it for 4 days and fix the puncture.
   4. And at the end, give you a bill of Rs. 1,20,000 (+taxes)
2. Go the trusted way:
   1. Conduct brief diagnostics – just feel inside the tire to see if there is a nail.
   2. Prescribe the most effective known medicine – you know the crowbar is enough to open up the tyre and a hydraulic press is not really required.
   3. Treat it with care – you know its not your car but you have an intent to do good for two reasons – i) you do not want the brickbats ii) You want a repeat customer. Hence, give it chhotu who knows how to repair the puncture and has a workshop record of doing it under 4mins 39secs.
   4. Give you a bill of Rs. 200 (the tube has to be purchased from the market by you)

Agreed, a car is far more dispensable than a human body, even then, does the doctor prescribe ELISA the moment you go to him with a second instance of a running nose! Ideally, he should – recurring diseases is a sign of AIDS. And if he does that, Aamir Khan will be knocking his doors with a court notice of unjustified expenses on the treatment of a “poor hapless customer”. And then he’ll be accused of being a stooge of the pharma and medical instrumentation companies.

This, btw is very likely what happened in the west where the cost of medical treatment is high. So high that healthcare alone could shut down the government controlling the biggest pot of money in the world.

Not all doctors are unscrupulous thugs. In fact most aren’t. Medicine is a profession built on trust and fame. Infamy is a death knell in the profession. More often than not, a doctor intends well. More often than not, a doctor will practice his profession well (almost like a case of a SW Engineer coding – the ‘default’ is the right way). In a few cases where he doesn’t, action needs to be taken. But to say that all hospitals are 5-star hotels and thugs is a gross misstatement and, imho, a disservice to the nation. Continue this tirade against the doctors and very soon we’ll be shutting down the Indian Govt too asking for a cheaper healthcare system.

Rahul's Press Conference: Behind the scenes

Disclaimer: Nothing Official About it. Attempt at satire/humour. Is in no way meant to dishonour/discredit the people or the positions of the honourable PM and the President of India.

So here is what happened an hour before the Press Conference of Rahul Gandhi today (Sept 27^th, 2013)

Pranab: OK What do I do... I have to return this ordinance. BJP does have a point.

MMS: Kya Pranab da, sign karo na Jaldi.

Pranab: Singh Sahib, Itna aasan nahi hai... Ise to waapis karna padega. Govt ko bada dhakka lagega

MMS: Sachchi?

Pranab: Muchchi...

MMS: Ek sec ruko, madam ko line pe leta hoon...

Madam: Kya ho Manmohan ji? US jaakar to bahut baaten kar rahe ho...

MMS: Madam, US ki baad mein baat karenge. India mein problem hone waali hai. Pranab da bol rahe hain ordinance waapis karenge.

Madam: Na. Nahi karenge. Main baat karti hoon.

MMS: Line pe hain.

Madam: Kyon Pranab. Presi ban gaye to humaari nahi sunoge?

Pranab: Sorry Madam. But BJP does have a point. Main agar sign kar bhi doon to koi na koi PIL file karke isko void kar dega. And fir Congress Govt ke saath saath meri bhi image kharab ho jaayegi. Aur poora credit Narendra bhai le lenge...

Madam: Wo Gujarat ka Chief Minister Narendra Modi? Wo kyon?

Pranab: BJP hi to aayee hai ye mere paas le kar...

Madam: To kuch bataiye na.. BJP ko nahi lene de sakte credit..

Pranab: Ek hi idea hai. Aap apne upar le lo. Aap bol do Congress is taking back ordinance..

Madam: Us se kya hoga. Manmohan ji ka to mazaak ban jayega aur saath hi govt ka.

Pranab: To aisa karo na. Rahul baba ko bolo Press Conference bulane ko.

Madam: Press Conference? But usme to press waale hote hain. Rahul baat nahi karega

Pranab: Press waalo ko Question nahi poochhne denge. Saath mein kisi doosre congress waale ko bhi rakh lenge taaki rauhl baba ki statement ka sahi sahi meaning de dein just in case kuch ulta bol de.

Madam: Kya matlab? Rahul ulta bolta hai?

Pranab: Nahi nahi madam. Ye matlab nahi tha mera.

Madam: Anyways, sahi to bol rahe ho.

Pranab: Aur fir credit bhi Rahul baba le sakte hain. Main bol doonga BJP ki sunta us se pehle hi govt ne ordinance waapis le liya

Madam: Manmohan ji, aapka bhi kuch boliye

MMS: "Thik Hai".

Madam: Chalo bolti hoon kisi ko press conference arrange karwane ko.

Pranab: Manmohan dada, sambhal lijiyega. US mein press jyada poochhegi nahi. Jab tak waapis aayi tab tak kuch aur scandal arrange karwa denge. ya fir news waalon ko bolenge thode din Modi ji ka laughter show dikhaye TV pe...

MMS: "Thik Hai"

Delhi Dystopia: BA Pass

Ok, I didn’t want to do this but I was asked so many questions about BA Pass that I had to write it out on the blog.

Warning: The below text contains elements of the plot.

It is a movie rife with dystopia - dark with no glimmer of hope... It accentuates the hell that life can be for an aspiring middle class "BA Pass". And worse of all, shows the defeatist side of humanity that has no spine and keeps on bending as more pressure is piled on... and at the climax, the spine breaks and the protagonist is down flat.

It starts off with an unassuming, just ‘adult’ Mukesh being asked to collect a carton of apples from the manipulative Sarika’s house. Apples – the first sin committed by mankind..! What he doesn’t know is that a plot has been laid out for him to be sucked into a world of male prostitution. Yes, he is reluctant at first, but soon accepts it as a way of life. And not surprisingly, very soon he begins to enjoy the money that he earns! After a few repetitive erotic scenes, we land at the intermission.

Things change after the intermission. Mukesh is discovered by Sarika’s husband, thrown out of his aunt’s house (under a different pretext) and lands into the open and waiting arms of the man who makes his daily bread from the dead. Suddenly, Mukesh has no “business” and no money (having handed over every pie to Sarika for “safe-keeping”). Instead of working to make a living and also paying for his sisters who stay in an orphanage, he does what he knows best – pimps himself out – this time to a gang of unruly guys who pick him off the road. Ill-treated, he decides to rob Sarika and ends up killing her. Not surprisingly, the Delhi police is after him. On the other hand, his “friend” from the graveyard has disappeared. His sisters are waiting for him at the Delhi Railway Station in the dead of the night. And he decides to jump off a building and kill himself.

The video is dark, the colours gloomy and the music melancholic. I'm sure if screens could smell, the theatre would stink. The actors do rise above the melancholy to give standout performances. Shadab (Mukesh) is amazing in his controlled display of emotions (imagine control during the first half and you will know why I appreciate it). The story is powerful and incisive. However, this is a movie made for the critics to applaud and not for the mainstream audience to enjoy and appreciate.

Overall Verdict: Go if you must, but don’t blame me if, after the movie, you feel like there is no good left in the world. The only movie that comes close is Requiem for a Dream, and I, while appreciating that movie, had bad dreams even days later.

Music from "Requiem for a Dream"

P.S: Btw, this movie could as well have been “Engineer” or “Doctor” :D

Movie Review: Lootera

You know the movie was good, when on the following morning, you are still thinking about the movie! Lootera is one such movie… Agonisingly slow yet inexplicably brilliant!

Plot: It starts with those typical girl-learning-to-drive-collides-with-the-hero-falls-in-love-hero-goes-away storylines we know to be so common in Bollywood. The twist right before the interval! And then the prestige of the hero and then they fall in love again. So typical, right? Trust me, it isn’t!

Cinematography and Direction: The first half of the movie, though slow, is beautiful in the period setup and those few delicately handled romantic scenes. The authentic Bengali setup, with its vibrant colours and intricate sculpture cannot be missed. The second half is where the brilliance of the movie starts. Like Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Black, this movie takes beautiful form in the second half. Every act in the first half starts having more relevance in the second. Each moment is revisited, though in a changed scenario. And the way the climax is handled – pure brilliance!

Acting: Ranveer and Sonakshi are good, the real ‘hero’ of the movie is the direction, though.

Music and Lyrics: Amit Trivedi does make it a tad too exciting in places, but overall, is brilliant. The movie has no “songs”, only background score. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there is a beautiful line, so delicately woven in the storyline, that you will go WOW!!.

Mujhe chhod do, mere haal pe
Zinda hoon main, kaafi hai…

Overall: The movie progresses at a very very slow pace. So slow, you can go for a tea break and you wouldn’t have missed anything even if you decided to have some samosas along with it. But then, that is where the brilliance lies! Each scene has so many details, so intricate that you will realise their presence only after you exit the theatre. This movie will linger with you – you will either hate it for the slow pace, or love it for the direction and cinematography.

The three mistakes of my first trip abroad...

Apologies for the long time that is going to be taken to read this longish note but trust me it will be far shorter than if you were to get involved with the "Partner care executives" at Airtel

This March, I finally decided to get my passport stamped. Airtel, my hitherto favourite service company in India, I decided, would be my "telecom partner" for the epic journey (My first mistake!)...

Early March, I decided to visit the Airtel Relationship Centre to activate international roaming on my post-paid number. I was told to come 2-3 days before my departure. Seemed strange but I did. I was asked to deposit Rs.3000 for activation. I did. Surprisingly, they discovered later that the activation required a new sim and they didn't have a new sim for my series of numbers. Of course, they didn't bother returning my 3000.

I took a pre-paid sim and activated international roaming on the same. To reduce the charges abroad, I decided to take the 1299 plan (my second mistake). Now this was the 24th of March. There was no way I could test the activation and hence travelled to HK.

Imagine my surprise (or shock), when on landing I find out that I'm not able to make any call! I was travelling separate from my family and reaching out was essential. Alone in a foreign land, with no way to reach out to my folks, I admit, I did have a few beads of sweat on my forehead. Thankfully, my phone rang and at the other end was my dad. I was relieved (for a short while). Soon, my phone went silent for a long while. I travelled to Macau and somehow managed to reach my folks in the largest Sheraton of the world!

I tried calling myself a few more times on my return to HK (using my dad's phone) but my phone didn't ring. Essentially, the 1299 pack had not been activated on my phone...! So on my returm I thought of reporting the same to the customer care and lodge a complaint for the same (Why do I keep making these novice mistakes - my third).

Below is the journal of my complaint and how its going. I shall keep editing as it progresses..
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First call on April 2nd, 2013
Airtel Ref No: COGCI20402076575 - on a chat with Kanit, the following facts were established:

1. 1299 Recharge on 24/3 - 30 incoming/outgoing free
2. Outgoing Not happening
3. Incoming 5 calls
4. CSL Network selection - OK

Call 28 minutes: Rs.5 2/4/2013 0800 Hrs
Call 2 minutes: Rs.0.50 0845 Hrs
Call 7 minutes: Rs.1.50 0850 Hrs - Call cut after being put on hold!
Call not being taken after 5 attempts - the last successful call was cut while transferring to a partner care executive!
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Dialled from another number - 8294639940 and requested call back.
Jitendra Kumar called from 9661096610 - 5/4/2013 ~14:00 hrs -
He first denied having detailed information about my complaint citing incomplete receipt of information regarding my complaint.
Then when I gave him the complaint reference number, he read the mail with me. Surprise surprise - he had the complete email!!
Then he says there are no records of 1299 pack and recharge done by me. Unfortunately, he didn't realise that he was dealing with a guy who had the compelte records on mail.
Then I gave him the detailed time of recharge - he accepted there was a recharge and put me on hold.
Then he says there was some issue at the "client side" and that Airtel would get back to me within a day.
Talked to Lalit Kumar: Jitendra Kumar's Senior - Given a new reference NUmber: CBNRA30405319516
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Get an e-mail reimbursing Rs.100 to my account!!! I ask them not to reimburse charity amounts to my phone!
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Anurag: 6/4/2013 ~12:50 Hrs Transferred to senior - Raja
Nodal Officer: 9934334865. Mr. Rizwan Ansari
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Call from Deep 6/4/2013 ~15:35hrs - Postponed date to 8/4/2013 09:44 hrs. Reports no transaction of 1299 - CONRC3040642363100
I post my concern on the Airtel India FB page.
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8/4/2013 ~11:13 Saurav (Gurgaon Office - 9717894448): Confirmed that the recharge of 1299 has happened on my number - Needs a day to check and get back.
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11/4/2013 ~11:38 Extremely rude call.

1. He denied me having made the transaction for Rs.1299 while the completed transaction has been established multiple times - Once by Saurav (on the 8th of April) and once even by the nodal office.
2. When I mentioned that I had already sent the bank detail and the confirmation of the transaction, he again denied me having made any transaction!
3. When I asked him to transfer the call to a senior executive, he refused to, saying "Humaara Senior department nahi hai"..!!
4. When I asked him who do I contact, he said he'll connect me to a senior department!!
5. When I questioned him why I was lied to and demanded to know his name - I was told, (verbatim) "Achha sir, main aapki call senior ko connect nahi kar raha hoon" like it was a threat! And then the call was extremely rudely disconnected.

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12/4/2013 ~14:01 Call from Poonam - Delhi Office - Asked for bank statement till today - to forward the same for reversal
I sent the same. Twice.
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14/4/2013 ~10:21 Tapesh Kumar
ICICI recharge 1299 25/3/2013 not 24/3/2013 but claimed 1299 no recharge
Rana Pratap senior official 10:40 14/4/2013 Confirmed recharge. Took a 24 hr deadline
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Missed call 15/4/2013 ~08:50 hrs. I Wrote back asking for a direct number or call back. They sent an SMS saying the complant was resolved because I was not reachable!
When I tried calling back, as usual, my number has probably been black-listed and hence the customer care doesn't receive my calls.
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17/4/2013 ~12:27 Ankit from the Nodal Office
Internal Airtel Network slow. Hence information detail not accessible. Will call back within two hours. If not, call Nodal Office and arrange for callback from Ankit Talan.
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23/4/2013 Received a mail saying there was no erroneous deduction. Wrote back saying it was more an issue of "service not received" than "wrong deduction". This mail was sent by the Andhra Appellate!
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29/4/2013 ~11:05 Ankit from the Nodal Office
Internal Airtel Network slow. Hence information detail not accessible. Will call back within two hours.
Called later saying this issue is in the "mail department" and since I called, this issue cant be resolved on phone. Ankit Talan called back in the evening and handed over to Maya.

Maya, while courteous, was highly impatient trying to settle me off with mathematics that didn't sum up. So the cost of SMS went from Rs.250 to Rs.100 to Rs.25 depending on how you wanted to adjust for it mathematically.
Then she told me I had received an incoming call at 12:45 in Macau - when in fact I was in HK waiting for the the ferry till 2pm (Makemytrip can confirm the same if required)! So apparently, I was charged Rs.100 for the same. I asked even if we assume that I was charged for the Macau incoming call, why wasn't I able to dial any numbers! Why wasn't I able to receive any calls when I was back in HK?
She had no answers and went to check on the website. Apparently she couldn't find the 1299 plan online (yes they have changed the plan now - but but but.. I have the screenshot of the plan stored)!

Without letting me speak, she just kept repeating that she had checked! When I asked for the mathematics to work out, she didn't have an answer (don't blame her, she was well past her office timings - god forbid if she's unsafe because of a late night auto ride). She even offered to restore my services if I hadn't received them. So essentially, as I paraphrased for her, she was asking me to go to HK again to get the benefit of the Rs.1299 pack. She did realise her mistake and said she'd call me the next day.
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So this is the status till today. apart from the 1299 that I didn't receive the benefit for, I must've already spent more than Rs.100 on calling the nodal office (the calls are not free, u see). I've decided to take this case to the end - lets see how Airtel copes up with a guy who likes to maintain all records and is willing to go the distance.

Update:1 07/05/2013 Finally Airtel convinced me to spend another Rs.50 in getting the itemised bill as I couldn't prove anything otherwise. I did. To my shock, I've been charged for calling my own number!

Budget 2013: Tax on Super Rich

Dear Hon. FinMin Mr. PC,

You are indeed the wily statesman - I noted this is how you introduced the tax on super rich: There are 42,800 persons - let me repeat, only 42,800 persons - who ADMITTED to a taxable income exceeding Rs.1 crore per year.

I'm sure you would be well aware and, might I hypothesize, quite interested in statistics. Here's one: There are 156 MPs (i.e. 29% of Lok Sabha) "who ADMITTED to a taxable income exceeding Rs.1 crore per year"... Compare this with 33ppm (parts per million :P) crorepatis amongst the rest of the population in India....

Does this call for a tax surcharge on the MPs?? Mr PC, Charity indeed begins at home :P The next time you think of the statement, "When I need to raise resources, who can I go to?" Look to your Left, then your Right - and then definitely at the Centre - and you shall have all your answers :)

Yours Sincerely,
A Tax-Payer :)

Extra-judicial comments on a matter sub judice

Isn’t it strange (or is it political?) that a former judge of the Supreme Court of India has nothing but extra-judicial opinions to offer against a Chief Minister of a state of India!

I recently read his tirade against NaMo in the Hindu. Initially, I thought I’d rubbish off the article as it was published in a leftist newspaper, the views of which I do not share (quite often). But the fact that he compared NaMo to the Nazis was a little too much for me to handle.

I might agree with him that the Chief Minister of the state cannot feign ignorance when the state is burning. NaMo might not have had any active hand in the riots that followed the Godhra massacre of a coach of travelers (allegedly Hindu karsevaks). But that doesn’t absolve him of his responsibility as the Chief Minister. A railway minister is asked to resign if a rail meets an accident. Here was a case of a complete state under riot, the Chief Minister must be held accountable. Agreed.

But then, that is where he goes too far… While the event might have some parallels with Kristallnacht, the leaders at helm cannot be compared. At the point, had NaMo actually been like Hitler, he would have had the power to exterminate every single non-Hindu in the state! And when 3 decades later, the perpetrators of the ‘84 riots are roaming free, it would be a understatement to say that NaMo would have been far safer! Make no mistake, the cases of Zakia and many others are indeed reprehensible. However, that the Supreme Court found no ‘direct involvement’ of NaMo should be respected. As a formed judge, Justice Katju, of all people, should realize and respect the verdict of the Honorable Supreme Court of India. His extra-judicial comments are unsolicited and definitely not appreciated – especially when, as he himself says, the matter is sub judice.

It is indeed scary that at one point in time, this very man – who believes more in his “At least I find this impossible to believe” than the proofs – was deciding cases, many of which might have been of national importance!! He admonished the Government of Orissa for being unable to prevent persecution of the minorities (Christians) in 2009. Guess the judge in him continues to preside over cases even when he’s been retired from the post – quite possibly, for good.

PP

Whats cooking? Innovations..!!

So I’m setting up a new house in a new location… And living alone, the least of my worries should be cooking. It is! But that doesn’t stop me from thinking how the kitchens of those not as lucky as me would change with the new govt policy of 6 subsidised gas cylinders.

Yes, the number of people using coking gas through cylinders is a miniscule proportion of the Indian population, but yes, the lives of this miniscule population is in for a change... I foresee these changes in 4 different heads

1. Change in consumption: So now, no more regular consumption of food that requires long simmering over gas in an open vessel. Gajar Halwas and Dal Makhanis can bid a goodbye to the usual Indian household! Next time, when you get Gajar Halwa in a get-together, know that you are treated as important :P
2. Change in cooking style: Prestiges, Hawkins and Uniteds of the world can rejoice. Pressure cookers, which are faster methods of cooking will soon replace the open pan cooking.
3. Change in cooking devices: Electric Rice Cookers will be a necessity for all South-Indian and Bengali households with high consumption of rice. Induction Cooktops which have recently started finding market will grow fast. How about coal based non-smoke chulhas? Sigris? Will Tandoori dishes make their way from restaurants to the normal Indian household!
4. Alternate Energy Sources: This is what excites me the most – this is where a handicap will turn into an opportunity. Solar cookers anyone? How about mandating bio-gas based cooking in planned industrial townships which throw up tonnes of bio-waste anyways?

They said necessity is the mother of invention... Time for new innovations... Time to put your mind to where your mouth is :D

The illusion of Happiness

Happiness,
they say, is,
a synonym if joy,
a symbol of prosperity...

Happiness,
they say, is,
easy to look for,
extremely difficult to find…

Happiness,
they say, is,
for the lucky,
even hard earned…

I DISAGREE

Happiness,
I feel, is,
rarely bought,
always well sold...

Happiness,
I feel, is,
an unknown fear,
a mask of uncertainty…

Happiness,
I feel, is,
a smiling face,
a slowed sullen pulse...

Happiness,
I feel, is,
real-life magic,
the grand illusion...

The Apple Syndrome

How many times have you seen a status update on FB of a friend owning the “new” iPad or the iPhone? Did you see the same for a friend owning the new Nokia? This is the Apple Syndrome. Let me explain a little…

The year was 1984. IBM ruled the (albeit very small) personal computing world. Anya Major ran towards a screen and hurled a hammer towards it – and the world was waiting for the new personal computer eagerly. Overnight, the Macintosh became the new personal computing device – though expensive and highly limited in terms of compatible software.


The year was 1998. The Macintosh had been a device-to-own but newer GUI and networking simplicity on the Windows PC had started to dent the desirability of the old warhorse. Jonathan Ive designed the new iMac and amidst large fanfare and anticipation, Steve Jobs launched it in his trademark style.

The world was now eagerly waiting for the new iMac. It had become a definition of style (ok also some substance). So anyone who owned an iMac worshipped it (and Apple). Those who did not, wanted to. How many users used, or even needed, the full capacity of the iMac is a question no one could ever answer because you just couldn’t question the decision to buy an iMac.

The year was 2001. Sony Walkman had given a new life to music – music on the move. Many imitations came up. Then was the time for portable CD players. And slowly USB players... And then Steve Jobs, again in his trademark style, launched the iPod. The iPod was the new music player in town. Ultra-expensive, but who cares, it is an iPod! If you see the quarterly sales of the iPod, with every ‘new launch’, the sales take a huge leap and then come back to the usual normal levels. But still, iPod is the music player you want to own...

Same story with the iPhone, iPad...

Every new anticipated launch is highly anticipated. Huge queues are seen at apple stores on the day of the launch. And how many users actually appreciate the purchase, well all of them – else why would they update it on FB!

Is it always the great product? To an extent, yes... But worth the hype? To a large extent, no... So what creates the hoopla around owning an Apple product that people feel the need to update it on their FB walls... And why does an iPad user, never get dissatisfied with the product? The question will be answered if you think a step further – would he update it on FB if he were dissatisfied with the product! Wouldn’t he look like a fool? One day he updates his wall as a proud owner of an iPad and the next day he is proven to be a douche when he updates his folly of making this most anticipated purchase without proper research into the product! So he never does... So on a public forum, you only find satisfied users – and that definitely creates positive publicity for the product leading to a higher sales of the product.

To summarise, the placebo effect in marketing is what I call the Apple Syndrome – the inability to deride a product in public just because it was a highly anticipated product which the customer was very proud to possess – and not because it was necessarily a great product – but because he owned something others didn’t!

P.S: The latest 'product' to demonstrate the Apple Syndrome - The Dark Knight Rises! You just wont find a negative comment on social pages...

Aamir Khan - Yet Another Populist (YAP)?

I was just reading an article by Aamir Khan in the Hindu. Now he’s supposed to be a very good man. But when he talks of things he knows nothing about, he is kinda diluting his brand equity.

In the article he says he “would prefer to err on the safer side and say eight to ten percent” should be spent on Health... Did he clear his maths exam? We are talking percentages and not absolute numbers. If we increase the spending on health, we will have to cut out some share of some other spending ¹. Can he also suggest where we should reduce GDP spends? Defence? So next time a 26/11 happens, we should question Aamir... Or Education? So next time a poor chap is unable to find a job because he can’t fill up the employment form, lets blame Aamir... Or Infrastructure? Next time you take 8 hrs to cover the 240 km from Delhi to Chandigarh, call Aamir, I’m sure he’ll charter a flight for you with the money he is making by airing his “well-researched” one-sided views².

That is a malaise of the “Social Sector” workers. They throw numbers like "X% of Indians do this while Y% can't even do that. If only Z% did this, ABC% of population would benefit". You can't argue with their numbers; they are hard truths. They believe in a cause which they believe is bigger than themselves. Excellent! They are entitled to believe in a solution too... Even better...! That’s why these 6%, 10% numbers come in... Let these "civil society" members create a mock government - come up with a 5-yr plan. I bet they cannot come up with a solution to please everyone - because each of them wants the bigger share of pie - like I might personally believe the largest chunk should be spent on education (alas I'm no Civil Society member else I'd ask for a safe 10.5%)!

The truth of the matter is that "pro-poor" is the "IN-Thing" at this moment - be it the govt or television... How KBC managed to select ONLY people who had a sad story to tell, will always be beyond my understanding. Indian Idol is joining the bandwagon with their oh-so-touching stories. That is plain TRPs talking. Accept it, we are Indians. We like to blame the government. And even more than that, we love sympathising with a teary eye... Who gets the teacher’s punishment for fighting in class – the guy who didn’t cry!

Let me state, on record, that I'm not "Anti-Poor" as many people would respond... I do my bit and I'm not going to blow my trumpet on a public forum by detailing what is that bit... Should anyone feel the need to verify, they can come to me anytime... But that bit is definitely more direct than demanding the government do more!!

Just that I feel, there are two kinds of charity – one which enables people to find their own solutions, and second, provides them readymade temporary solutions. An example of the first would be “subsidising text-books” – to fully utilise the ‘charity’, the kid will have to study. An example of the second would be “blanket farm-loan waivers” – next time, when the fertiliser doesn’t come for free, how will the farmer sustain his expenditure on giving his house the Royale uplift!!! The second charity is almost always misused.

Remember that old saying about the fish and fishing? There are only finite fishes in any one pond – you teach the man fishing, he’ll find his own fish in any pond – who knows he might even stumble upon shrimp! Government can give fishes – in fact populism (the dictionary word for “pro-poor”) is just that... But where does the government get the money to buy these fishes? From those who know how to fish! But how long can you continue, one day the fishermen are ultimately going to stop fishing in your pond (FDI, FII)...

And let me add, not just charity in the form on money - also in the form of share of voice... Aamir is ultimately the "show stopper"... He wants your attention too. If you give him your blessings of too much share of voice, it will be misused! And how do you misuse the share of voice, by ensuring you garner even more share of voice by sensationalising stuff... (Also in our case, shedding a few tears at the right moments!) When blessed with a magic lamp, what is the third wish of an intelligent man? Three more wishes...

PP

¹ - GoI spends 20% of GDP. Aamir wants 10% of that to be on health. Good luck with the other sectors.
² - As indicated in SMJ vs Dr. Sreedhar case, his research may not be a true depiction of reality but one man's view of it.

All that's Evil is IPL....

Confessions on an online shopaholic…

Full Disclosure: I’m an ‘online shopaholic’

It was a Friday evening and I had just received my salary in my account. While I logged in to check if it reflected in my account, I decided I should check my mails meanwhile…. And the first mail there – Deal of the Day from Tradus.in – Brilliant specs and an even better deal on a pair of USB speakers. God, it was even branded Logitech, definitely a good name in the sound world. Did it even matter that I listened to music once in a month – and that too on Sony Mix? But damn, this deal was too tempting… And the rest, as they say, is history. The head of my bed is now adorned with two beautiful black speakers – which are perfectly and uniformly covered in grey – the grey of dust…

I used to read a lot once. Books were indeed my good companions in those journeys and after hours of the nights I ‘studied’ late. I loved collecting books – and, what is more, I read them too. And then I joined Engineering. Gaming took over reading. And thus I started loving collecting PC games – original and pirated. I forgot all about reading – 12 hours of a normal day were spent in gaming and around 6-8 more in Sitcoms and Movies – all on PC.

So when I saw this Flipkart.com, the love for books suddenly found voice, again. And lo, I found myself ordering 6-7 new books every month. There was one major difference though – I didn’t have the time to read them. But when has a bibliomaniac cared about reading books – it’s far more important for him to have a book than have read it too. So the window sill was now full of books. Colourful and diverse. Religion and History. Fiction and Self-Help. Comic books and Classics. Hard-bound multi volume box sets and short stories. But how many did I read, well, lets not make me too guilty of being a spendthrift…

And then, when I realized I had too many books, gaming took over. Got myself a spare keyboard and a wireless Bluetooth mouse. Bought three PC games. Even almost bought myself a PS3…! And all those still lie in my cupboard untouched.

Thought, wouldn’t it be good if I had a decent binoculars in my travels to all these exotic places. Got myself one. That turned out to be a damp squib – but who said anything about stopping… Got myself a better one – and all online without even getting a feel of it.

My phone was purchased online, after scouring 12 different websites which carried the similar phone – all for the best bargain – in this case, Rs. 1000… And of course when I was buying a phone, the screen guard and Bluetooth came along – so that was purchased additionally…

I wouldn’t lie, I have spent many an hours of my weekend surfing the net looking for “better deals” on things I didn’t need in the first place! And trust me when I say this, there is no better place to window shop that the online world. You not only see the different designs and models but also the best prices…

I’ve heard people (let’s not be sexist here) say that retail therapy is the cure for acute and severe depression. For an online shopaholic, a reluctant one like me, it sure is not...

The Marketing Coup...

While CNN-IBN debated the imaginary (or IE would like to believe otherwise) coup, there has been a coup going on for years - the Marketing Coup... Would I be right when I say that the Indian male has been left hapless and proven to be extremely vulnerable to marketing attacks? I'll just prove my point below...

All of six years ago, all my closet had in the name of “Personal Grooming” was a small kit which contained a Head & Shoulders shampoo, an Old Spice Deo, a safety razor (the legendary ‘Red’ Vector Plus), a shaving brush and a Palmolive Shaving Cream (with 30% extra).

Then, about two years later, when I had got my first job (though I didn’t join is a different matter), I bought myself a Mach-3 – it had three blades as against my twin-blade Vector!!! I also added a Davidoff Cool Water though with extreme caution and reluctance. Little else changed.

Then, after I had got my first salary (just the internship, mind you), I bought myself an aftershave liquid – of course it was the age-old white bottle in a red pack – Old Spice – the music and the visual of that man surfing the waves was far too enticing for me to save my hard-earned money - and of course, Old Spice was the "Mark of a Man"...

All this while, it was just the bare-boned shaving accessories, a shampoo (the variant did not matter), a Deo for daily use and the perfume for those special occasions...

But a devil – some called it being ‘metro-sexual’ – was waiting in the closet – quite literally... And I didn’t quite stand a chance against the armies of multinationals wielding the new-age weapons of marketing...

Soon, a new Deo, this time a Lomani was added. I felt I needed a change sometimes from my strong Old Spice... And the barriers of self-control were broken...

Within no time, the Mach-3 got converted to the more expensive Mach-3 Turbo! I added another after shave splash – this time with the international flavour of Gillette. Later, when Gillette launched the after-shave lotion worth Rs.399 – I felt compelled to purchase that too – that it has the efficacy it promises is another matter but 399...!!! Suddenly, the 399 felt like worth it where just two months I didn’t even feel the need for it!

One day, suddenly feeling the urge, I decided to Google the best shave... and alas all my myths were shattered... Where I had thought my usual soap to be good enough for my face, I realised I needed a scrub before the shave “For Best Results”... And that was another Rs.199 down for the new Gillette Scrub... Suddenly exfoliation was as important as splashing water!! And of course, the shaving cream had to go... It was going to be Series Gel (and later Fusion Gel).

Then I discovered my favourite H&S had variants for different types of hair...!!! All this while, there were only two kinds I knew of – Washed and unwashed. So after some self-rationalising, I decided I had dry hair – and thus I needed a shampoo with higher quantity of conditioner – so the Smooth and Silky variant was added. Of course, for freshness, the Cool Menthol continued... And one day, my sister introduced me to the world of conditioners that were to be used after shampoo – and she convinced me to buy a Dove conditioner! Alas, soon I discovered that normal conditioners negated the anti-dandruff effects of the shampoo – I had to buy an H&S conditioner now! So now my closet has a Cool Menthol for those usual days, a Smooth & Silky for those days when I’ve been exposed to lot of dust and grime – and of course the latest addition – the S&S conditioner...

While all these years, I never had flaking skin (or did I not notice it). On further consultation (with my expert sister again), I was told I need a moisturiser for my face and limbs... So a moisturiser for the face and a different one for the limbs got added... And of course, my sister wouldn’t have anything to do with me telling that I didn’t need a sunscreen... One with SPF 15 it was, as apparently SPF 15-24 is recommended for daily use for my kind of field job!! Where, I was unaware of the term “SPF”, I was now using one...!!!

And suddenly one day, soap appears to be too “drying” on the skin – and hence a body wash suddenly finds its space on my shelf...

I’ve till now curbed my desire (or is it a need) to purchase the Olay for Men or the Garnier Men products – but I never know how long I’ll hold myself...

And now I wonder, has human skin (mine) changed so much in 6 years that where none of this was required or should I say in marketing parlance – needed – or more specific – “felt the need for” – suddenly the market is swelling with “beauty and grooming” products for men...!

Or the truth, Men just too gullible for the directed marketing activities of the multinationals and susceptible to the pressure of the kin (usually female) to “look and feel” better...

Damn, all this typing must have scarred my fingertips – I’m sure a new product is on the way...