Friday, March 6, 2009

Mr. Wadvani V/S Mr. Sehru

Disclaimer: Any similarities with any person (dead or alive) or event (past or future) is purely intentional.

It was a dark dreary night in Hindia. Mr. Batwarlal Sehru and Mr. LaKh Wadvani had set up office not far from each other. Both are looking to be the next Kautilya - the biggest office of profit in the Bindian Democracy. Our reporter Mr. Darkha Butt (DB) was there to report live – for the first time from temporally shifted but geographically connected locations. 

DB (from outside Mr. S’s office): It’s a scurry of few people rushing in and out of the two offices. Two mins back a 60-yr young man rushed in with the news of successful distribution of the pamphlets in the Historiabad. Election manifestos have been read by the junta. A Digress victory seems imminent. The charisma of the leader will ensure victory. The vote bank is expected to swell following the successful implementation of the new dam project in the state. The voters are enthusiastic about the last 5-yr plan. Promises of jobs and food are seeming possible. Darkha Butt reporting (a)live from 1959. 

DB (Outside Mr. W’s office): Since evening the pings have been coming... The 42" plasma-screen is abuzz with SPSS response-sheets from various constituencies of Futurpur. IT engineers are trying to create the information overload problem and ensure the voter knows just who to vote for. The CDs with the End-Voter agreement have been circulated. Media content is being offered for subscription fees through jTunes or dedicated large-capacity servers. No one has time to glance at the Ticker Election Manifesto. The windows-based ticker was hacked in the past hour by sleuths of Hon. Mayavidhi Trojan. Froogle Mad-sense has ensured the internet is flooded with Mr. Wadvani’s advertisements. Kinks to his blog and website are everywhere. Darkha Butt reporting live form Bin-City, Futurpur, 2009.

Studio: Thank you Darkha. Hum dekh rahe hain ki Mr. Sehru bhi technology ko use karne ki baat kar rahe hain. Mr. Wadvani apna agenda reset kar rahe hain. Voters, fundamentalism, aur money ke beech multiple regression ke result kuch hi der mein aane waale hain. Uske baare mein aapko kya jankari hai?

DB: Mr. Sehru scientific thinking ke lagte hain. Shayad is 50 saal mein agla 5-yr plan implement ho sake. Mr. Trojan ke successful hack ka result ummeedvaar batane se inkaar kar rahe hain but jaankar sources se humein pata chala hai ki Mr. Sehru apni constituency mein jeet rahe hain. Mr Wadvani apne agenda ki multiple copies ke saath press video-conference ke liye ready hain. Regression ke scenario analysis IT engineers na kar diya hai aur result aate hi voter mind corrupt karne ka suitable virus launch kar diya jayega. Back to you, Raazkeep.


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