Long Distance never works...

Finally, I broke up. It was a long-distance relationship that I had thought would last though it was destined to always be long-distance. It went well when we were together. There were fights and misunderstandings but nothing everlasting.

The clock ticked and I had to move on. Differences appeared. These differences were not yet crevices threatening to open up. As always, in a long distance relation, there appears a third person (let’s call X12). Now this third person may not be as dear to my first love (let’s call X11), but yes, he was right there and I was away. The worst part, the third person was also my own!

Now X11 thought I was getting too close to X12, that I was feeding him info about X11’s plans. X12 was new and gullible and well frankly – too gullible – such was the nature of our relation. Well, quite obviously, I sided with X11 and played on the gullibility of X12 – I knew it would all reveal itself. For a good ten days, X12 was left wondering if he had been mistaken and signed up for a “joy-ride” to hell - and partly because I sided with X11. X11 thought X12 knew of the plans through me and declared me a rogue lover. :(

Well, all did reveal itself. X11’s joy of the reveal was dampened because of my proximity with X12. X12, well he was furious too – for I sided with X11 despite having been in a much longer relation with X12.

And now, X11 has broken up with me (or in other words, "ppl were ready to kill you"), X12, well our relation was really short-lived after the reveal.

And here I’m, having learnt a very important lesson, LONG DISTANCE NEVER WORKS.

I AM an Isolophobic

I confess. I AM an Isolophobic.
They say, ‘solitude is bliss’. They sure dunno the meaning of either solitude or bliss. Or is there something amiss?

Over the past one month, I’ve come to face my worst fear – of being alone. For a social butterfly like me who HAS to talk with people to stay sane, this life of living alone in a 1000sqft space demarcated by walls to create rooms, can be quite an experience – and not in a good way. They say the only way to get rid of your fears is by facing them head-on. Well, for an isolophobic, this is pretty much the nadir of life and if this can’t get rid of the phobia, nothing can. This is as head-on with isolophobia as I can get.

They tell me I’m in the most wonderful of lands – oh sure I am. Whichever way I look, there are beautiful mountains partially covered by rain-bearing clouds. There are these famous “view-points” where lush green valley extends upto infinity – only cris-crossed by those mountainous rivers flowing aimlessly. Many times, I’d love to be that river – it has those trees that whistle every time it passes through them. I whistle only to myself – that too only when sure no one is looking for it be seen as indecent. It has that boulder which continuously talks to it in that gush language. The only talk I hear is that constant rumble I have in my head. It has those small pebbles that accompany it till it meets other rivers. Those small pebbles are my excel sheets – which constantly hound me till I meet others and even later.

They tell me I get the best food around. The only thing would taste good right now – is a piece of my mind. Well-cooked and deep-fried – treated with lots of boredom – garnished with a sprinkle of irritation, it must taste awesome. It is a stage where I dread the sight of restaurants – eating that big plate of that awesome ‘choumin’ alone or ordering those 4 pieces of paneer day-in-day-out because you know anything else you order will be too much for one person. Those roadside chats have their charm only when you are able to describe how wonderful they taste – when your taste-buds start talking to your teeth, it’s time to stop. Those famous ‘rasgullas’ and ‘ras-malai’ seem to melt no more in your mouth – or they do – a little too quick – they are there for a second and the next, gone – and then all you can think is, “Did I really have that or was it an illusion – must have been one – Phew…”

They tell me they would die to be in my place – oh you need not die – I want you to live – through what I live.

Why Doesn't India Vote?

(TIME Cover: March the 2nd, 1992)

Consider this:
The voter of West Bengal voted for the Congress thinking they were sick of the Left and could, in no way, stand a Left Rule at the centre. But after the elections, the Left is back in power. Similar situation exists in Kerala too.

The voter of Bihar votes for the good governance of Nitish and against Laloo. Elections gone and Laloo is back in power. After all, the Fourth Front gives the UPA the all important 30 seats at the centre.

The voter of AP din’t like the rule of the BJP+ and votes his ally out of power – the ally fights without the BJP – the voter is happy – the ally goes back to BJP – and if it was not bad enough, both are back in power. Wow!!!

The voter of Rampur is essentially wasting time – whoever wins, the government remains the same. The situation in the whole of UP is the same – the voter doesn’t know who and why did he vote for.

Do the political parties have a few ideological allies and foes - they don't even have an ideology. What do we vote for? They ask the voter to be informed - the manifestos of the BJP and the Congress are mere mutations of the same thought. Who do you vote for? The manifestos exist but the practice and implementation, that doesn't even exist on paper. Then they crib over people not voting and worse still, talk of making voting mandatory.

I wish to vote but haven't been able to because of many reasons - and I'm not the only one at fault - you can't blame me for not having a Voter ID if it takes more time for a voter ID to get prepared than my stay at the place.. {It took the administration more than a year to register me for a vote - by then it was time for me to move to a new location} Actually now that I think of it, even if I could, would I? Till the time that accountability and stability is made an important part of the Indian Democratic system, I don't really know if my vote actually makes a difference. For all I know, it might lead to the worsening of the nation due to a post-poll alliance that I hadn't thought of.

To quote advani:"Manmohan Singh holds office but has no authority, while the person who wields the authority has no accountability." I ask Advaniji, if he is unable to get the black money from the Swiss Banks within the promised 100 days, will he resign and ask Rahul Gandhi to implement his 100-day plan? If he states on record and follows this, I promise never to vote for anyone but the BJP. Till then, whenever I get my vote registered and, I shall vote. कर्मन्येवाधिकार्स्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।

Legacy Costs...

Dear Blog,

The culture, they say, is the biggest asset that any organisation can have. Yes, the culture, when it is started is the biggest asset but as with every long-term asset, it has its own depreciation rate. In a stark contrast to other accounting assets, culture is one asset that doesn’t depreciate to zero - it goes beyond that. It goes on to become a negative asset or a liability. The rate of depreciation then starts increasing and the liability of culture on the organisation starts increasing. It can go on to a point where the organisation becomes bankrupt just because of the strong culture that it had.

The rate of depreciation of the culture is higher if it is founded on principles of “information is power and must be preserved to derive competitive advantage”. Unfortunately, in an environment which is highly competitive, this principle is more fundamental to the existence of the organisation than any other. And this tenet of closed-door working philosophies lead to an environment which further speeds up these legacy costs.

It is these bankrupt conditions that prevent (when in fact they should promote) the efficient functioning of a change agent – an agent who looks to examine the conditions and precursors to the asset of culture being adopted and also if that baggage needs to be carried any longer. Any overhaul suggested is seen as tampering the sacrosanct liability accrued over years!!!

Looking to be the change agent...
PP

TOW "I'm the unConvocated" ©...

Dear Blog,

It’s been a loong week since I posted anythhing... Not that the earth and along with it, my life, stopped moving. Not that nothing noteworthy happened. Not that there was nothing I didn’t have an opiinion about. Just that in some cases, I didn’t find the time to do it and otherrs, I didn’t find the inspiraation to do it.

Well the usual stuff, new episodes of Lost, House MD, HIMYM, Heroes, TBBT, 2.5 Men, Chuck, Roadies 6.0 etc. got downloaded and watched, enlargement of the nominees' liist for the DCP awards continued, I bunked yet another classs, yet another week without mess dinner... Well they don't quite need mention... There were also a few things that neeed mention...

For starters, I missed the 6th annual convocation @ NITK. That means I’m still not an Engineer. Why did I not go? Multitude of reasons... First of which was the legendary historical 30th annual XL-IIMC sports meet. Secondly, when you are a SPOC of a placement support committee, hardly can u afford to not be in campus for a day, and when the process is preponed at short notice, more so. In short, according to Pauli Exclusion Principle, “I’m the unConvocated”. ^{© Secy, ER, Joka}

And then the sports meet got postponed to a later date!!! All the bbuild-up surrounding it, the war hysteria built over three terms melted away in a matter of two eventful days.

Would that mean, the weekend was a forced holiday, a time I could gather myself up for the coming week, a time I could muster up few hours of peaceful sleep, a time I could not work??? Well, the admission letter of a B-School does come with an unwritten clause in the “Terms of Agreement” and the “Voluntary Disclosure”, “I hereby declare to not keep myself free from work for the time I’m on campus. Any infaarction on this stated rule can invite serious non-disciplinary, nevertheless, socially-impeaching and far reaching action. Leaving the campus without the explicit long-term term-brreak will constitute gross neglect of the workaholic clause.”

And thus, I spent the weekend, a weekend many students afforded to trespass the Workaholic Clause, planning and pondering over the coming week, a week that will surely leave me tattered and battered i.e. if at all I manage to not have my name in the Obituary section of the local Telegraph. Till then, serving aces, getting to score: Advantage XLRI...

PP

P.S. Double Role Required...

Of groups and MBA...

Dear Blog,

It’s a part of every subject. It’s a part of being an MBA. It’s a part of working as a manager. It’s a part of being a social being. It’s a part of life. You cannot work alone... God created the man and then realised man’s identity could be harmful for the weaker, his mistakes, and the errors in the otherwise six-sigma universe. He then thought, “Let me create the need for social recognition, the need for affiliation.” Just to ensure his point was well hammered, he also created one Maslow and then a few OB teachers who taught man the importance of group work. And thus, individual pursuit of excellence was curbed to make way for group development.

All fine till now. But then, as with all other things, man took this noble intention to the extreme and decided he needed to build and enforce this group behaviour in every aspect of life and in MBA terms, part of every course evaluation. Thus were born groups and group assignments in management. With those groups came the complex group dynamics. Who forms the groups? Who takes the initiative and includes whom in the group? Including one person may not mean anything but saying no to anyone means doubting his capacities and what is more, it demonstrates your unwillingness to work with a friend if not your inability to work in a team. But including a person means alienating someone else who does not want to be with that person or in not-so-rare and not-so-extreme cases actually doubts him/her. And caught in this are those people who simply do not care what group they are in!!! Their sole objective is to ensure the best they can do individually, enrich the group that they are in and few cases, try to cover-up for the weaklings should there be any. This does not mean that they do not want to be with their favourite group (the concept of impartiality is slightly flawed by its very definition) but that they would be equally comfortable with anyone else...

Thankfully, despite all his efforts, God could not embed a culture of group discussions in humans and thus these were used as differentiating points for recruitment!!!

Waiting for a group-less course,
PP

The FM test...

A blog for a test??

Surely you must be crazy Mr. Aggarwal... Well, it was no ordinary test... It was the test of FM.

Background:

FM is one of those subjects, where you miss one class and you are lost throughout the term. Well, that’s what happened... In the first class, we started portfolio management with the Markowitz Model. I got lost in the first three slides (Damn the Greek... Damn Mathematicians... can’t they use X and Y... why do alpha, beta, sigma come in... And those summation signs mean “THE EnD”)... And the whole class was a blur. Everything was based on the first few moments and I missed it.

Now the "Preparation":

For two hours, I pondered over where to start. I finally thought, a big-fat book, it must have something... Decided... The book shall be starting line...

1. I looked at the book. Known script... Good... Alien Language... (Dead end)
2. I looked at the ppt... “Wasn’t this the same thing with those alien characters... What I cudn’t get then, how can I get now??” (Dead end)
3. Repeat One... Get anything?? No...
4. Repeat Two... Get anything?? No...
5. Go to pidgin (fancy program as sub for gtalk)... See if anyone else is getting anything... 
   
   “Na... not started... will do tom”
   
   “U nerd...”
   
   “Plsssssss”
   
   “Shut up. Me and FM...”
   
   “Joking???”
   
6. Repeat 3, 4,5 till u get something... 
   
   (the loop continued for a while)
   
7. Get up next morning...
8. Roomy knows something... My great roomy... Tells me basics... Confidence up.
9. Read Markowitz model ppt... Lost again... (Dead end)
10. Repeat 3,4... Already post-noon. Need to do something. Resolve. Start reading chapter 7. Not so alien after all... On to chapter 8. Lost again!!!
11. Roomy Zindabad... Confidence up.
12. Read Markowitz model again... yippee... makes sense... remember later... go on now... on a roll...
13. Read CAPM ppt. Wow... lost again... Sleep.
14. Get up. Read the notes everyone is studying... (if comps can reach human efficiencies, I dunno... but humans (some... or is it just one???) sure have mastered the art of converting speech to text)
15. Go to test.

The test:

Not bad at all... think hard... Generally, I am in the first batch to get up and leave... today is different... think hard... think of various possibilities... not bad at all... I do know some FM (ok at least the stuff in the paper)

Post Mortem: Ya right... my answers are probably wrong given the extra-thinking I did...

Moral of the story: It doesn’t pay to think extra. Efficient market hypothesis is anyways not always applied by all people... its best to go with what most ppl think is true...

MMM

“Democracy” – An Excellent mockery of governance

Disclaimer: The following piece of literature presents hypothetical systems. Any similarity or reference to any existing government machinery (or incident) is purely coincidental and unintentional.

Dear Blog,

Many score and many years ago, Ab Lincoln talked of a democracy “Of the People, By the People and For the People”. What he proposed was a utopian society where every man was equal. Lemme analyse how further wrong could he not have been...

You have the right to elect the leaders but no right to govern their actions. What if the majority government unilaterally enacts a legislation (with all suitable amendments and clauses) heavily inclined against the common populace?

One fine morning, ToI first page: In lieu of the 900th amendment to the “Winners of Lottery Act, 2008”, the ruling government reserves the right to the largest amount in any lottery. Any wealth collected vide 900th amendment to the “Winners of Lottery Act, 2008” will be termed legal. This amendment will supersede all other contradictory articles and amendments in the constitution.

What right does the ordinary man have to prevent the government from doing this?

Defence by the government, “The ruling has been made by a popular government. The voter has the right to NOT-CHOOSE the government the next time it goes to vote if he unsatisfied by the government and its bodies.”

Will someone tell me how many times does a common man win a lottery? What happens to the wealth accumulated by the ruling government in the period till the next government comes to power? Can it not be used to further influence people?

Well, to appear just and not unilateral, the government gives the voter the option of impeachment described below:

If motion proposed by minimum 1/8 of population (1)

    If minimum number of attendees to the motion equal to 7/8 of population (2)

        Voting valid --> Decision taken by simple majority. (3)

    Else End of Process

Else End of Process

Brilliant. The government is responsive. The government is so open. The government is so just.

Second look: What if 6.99/8 of population is in favour of the motion? Condition 1 satisfied. What about condition 2? To further compound the problem, what if 1/16 of the population is not in town to vote? That’s not good enough. What if 1/32 of the population is direct stakeholder against the motion? That leaves only further 1/32 of the population to actually abstain from the voting to get it declared invalid. What a democracy – 87% of the population v/s 2% of population and the 87% is considered invalid because the 2% are absent from voting!!!

Which government will modify this legislation, a legislation so inclined in the favour of the ruling government; a legislation that empowers the government to commit any crime and ask for solid proof (which again is ratified as acceptable by the same government!!! Y am I not surprised...)?

Probably, George Orwell got it more right when he said, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”. And when the mistakes of super equals are brought to fore, they retaliate in a manner which makes the other equals feel these super equals were better off ignorant of the mistakes (Putting it mildly against “crimes”). That these super equals will do anything to protect their exalted status is the essence of modern democracy.

The democracy is “By the people” when the government is formed, “Of the people (the neo-super-equals)” during its existence and “For the people (the super equals)” in its functioning. For the rest of junta, kat raha hai...

MMM

P.S.: Any Law (Civil, industrial or watever else) students/professionals, please correct me if I've overlooked any provsion(s) in Indian constitution which is in direct contradiction to above. There is a possibility that the whole article is incorrect, in which case, please provide me links to suitable literature.
P.S2.: The limit on quorum is 10% as known to me. The specific example of the impeachment procedure is a known violation of the rule used to prove a point

An Experience to Remember - Part 3

Dear Blog,

The last post ended with, “Retire for the day”... Did that mean Sleep?? Hardly... For those lucky souls who managed to “sign-out” on day 1, it was ecstasy while for others, it was anticipation and tension. 

0500 Hrs: SAC heard again – “Good Morning Juniors”... but the Cactus tree was pushed into oblivion. Whether it was due to unavailability of lead singers or due to sheer sense, it was welcome. Nevertheless, the whole XL was assembled in the holding area at 0600 hrs. There were more companies slotted for the day... more shortlists(extended and otherwise), more GDs (and more loud voices) and more PIs. And to make matters worse, there was desperation in those loud voices too. But then, as they say... jaako raakhe saaiyan maar sake na koi... the hand of god waived and some voices signed out... 

1400 Hrs: My third GD of the day and I lost track of time...

The situation was a prime case-study for any psychology student. While some students were joyous, others were indifferent and still others were angry (at themselves, process, authorities or anyone who could be blamed) and the remaining had plummeted to depths of despair. That the results were withheld (due to “sound logic” to avoid “process complications”) only added to the problem. It was the day the first signs of eye-swells started showing up. The rivers behind the lacrymals were ready to pierce the dams guarding them. Night dawned, but it was only virtual. There was no end to the process that day or for the days that followed.

As they say, it is the times of despair when you seek the quantum of solace... It is these times that bring the best of relations to forefront. The best of friends can become staunch rivals in face of adversity but SIP was different. Each second round interview shortlist was greeted with applause despite people not finding themselves on it. There were people who kept getting shortlists (I tracked mine till 20+ before I lost count) some kept converting GDs (hail the GD gods and goddesses) too... The sign-out was still a long way. It was time when people who once having prided themselves on having got into XL starting doubting if they were actually worth it. People who thought they had seen life enough were in for a shock. Amidst all this there were old ties being strengthened and new relations being formed... 

And once again, I found my best pals right beside me... but this time, there were many more... and boy, am I glad for that!!!

I didn’t hear my name being called out for sign-outs... But the call for treat at Regent (which I shall undertake someday) told me, I dint need to spend another night thinking what I was doing wrong... or another day thinking what I could do right!!!

What remains to be mentioned is the mentoring and a lot more I received through the process... And owing to the sheer size of task and emotion, that merits a new post...

MMM

Earlier in the series: Part 1, Part 2

An Experience to remember - Part 2

This post, I’ll post about the SIP experience of the juniors in the little chill times (i.e. Day 1)

The first of November, while many states of India celebrated their official state holiday, XLers had a busy day. Pecking discussions, slotting discussions and also sometimes, subject discussions... If teachers were around, they would surely ask the admin to have a SIP process every term so that the students actually take up books and study. And this continues right into the “Holding Area”. The whole campus is decked up for the impending arrival of the corporate India (and world).

Lights... Sound... Camera... ACTION!!!

0500hrs Nov 2^nd: Heard all over XL, “Good Morning Juniors”... SAC is finally heard!!! For once, no one was seen frowning over the not-so-rude awakening (literally) to the SIP... Eyes half closed – but smiling faces. Cactus tree Rox J

Sabko pata laga “Bhayee bhooooooooorrrrrrrrr”... The suits come out of the closets... Everyone u meet is a “Man-in-B” (where : B=Black, Blue, Brown). Shortlist (extended or otherwise) or no, XLers assemble in the “Holding Area”. It’s time for GDs and PIs to begin.

GD is one experience that will remain etched to me like a birthmark on my skin. Some people are loud, some people are intelligent, and very few are both. And it is these the second in the list who suffer. But coupled with the shrill in the voice and inability to listen (aka. active participation), it is the first category who rules the “Discussion”. More on GDs in another post sometime...

Then there are PIs. PIs are the opportunity for the candidates to prove how far they can stretch their imagination... making a mountain out of a mole-hill does require an elaborate effort. That all your hard-work through 20 yrs of life can be negated by one wrong example (seemingly) is something that I learnt, albeit the hard way.

Anyways, Day 1: Thru the day, there was the lone “sign-out”. Evening came, more sign-outs. Reputed names shoddy games. Notable in the “Well” – congratulations and allegations...

2300hrs: After a long day’s work, there’s pecking to be done. The taps of Gyaan open again... Mar-focus, Fin-focus and for most of us, simply Job-Focus...

Late in the night: Retire for the day.

MMM

Earlier in the series: Part 1

What part of NO do I understand?

What part of NO do I understand? Neither the N nor the O...

Why is it so difficult for me to say NO to me? Why do I have to see myself saying “Yes I can do it” to everything? There are things beyond me... If I were meant to do everything the world would have been so full and monotonous... There would have been only me around. The reason why others exist is because they can do somethings I can’t. The reason I exist is because there are things that I do others can’t. 

This realisation keeps coming to me but goes away faster than the arrival rate, hence before the next train of thought comes in, I’m already half way through and the realisation effectively fails to have effect.

Guidelines for anyone reading this: I do not get tired... I only feel so. There is always the extra amount of glucose left in my veins. I do sleep but only when I have nothing better to do and anything is better than sleeping. I do not know everything but not for long. I do not lie; it’s just that my version of truth is different from yours.

Guidelines for me: B***S***. Go to sleep...

Sleepyhead,

MMM

||Karmanyev adhikaraste, maa phaleshu kadachana||

Long back, Krishna told Arjun on the battlefield,

“Dude, listen up.. watcha talkin about rewards and consequences. Do u think doing good will get u good for sure and doing bad will bring harm to you no matter wat... Arre bhai.. there is no good or bad. U feel u are doing good but the other person may not see it as good. If not bad, it may be just seen as routine happening.

So wat shud u do? See doing good is in ur control. Do it. Hope it is seen as good and u get something in return (reward or award). Jyaada se jyaada kya hoga... award nahi hi milega na... but at least u’ll know ki tumne apne kaam kiya.. u tried... and if tht satisfaction is not good enuf, no reward ever will be. So don’t try for tht which is not in ur control. Wat u are good at will not be recognised. Wat good u do will be ignored... wat u’ll get will be a courteous reply saying u are good but we’re sorry... Wat u are bad at will be the titlebar on every screen but wat can u do?

One option is to sit and think over it... second option is to forget (though tht’ll be the toughest think to do) and proceed. In short do ur work... take if any reward comes ur way but u got no right to claim anything... nothing is urs... Machi, accept the fact.. its my way or the highway”

This has been my story for the last few days... filling up forms... hoping someone will think I’m good enuf... but the more I talk to ppl, I tend to realise I’m not. If not bad, i’m no more than routine... someone they can choose to ignore for want of better ppl. And by now I’ve become so immune to it all that I will chose to ignore if i’m not picked and proceed with my daily routine of fillin in more...

Mera number bhi aayega..
MMM

P.S: Self-prophecy turned out to be true...

One Week Ago

Dear Blog,

This should have come one week back but owing to the infinite assignments and projects...
Thankfully, late submission will not be returned or penalised...

Heres it goes..

Every good thing has an end, they say... No one says talks of the bad. Do bad things ever come to an end? Well, seems they too do. What then is the difference between the good and the bad? Good things are forgotten... bad haunt you for the days to come if not your whole life. Good things leave u happy for a day, bad, they leave you battered and tattered for many more. Good things, well others know about it and it shows, bad, you know it and the others simply assume it. Does it show? It does and not always in ways you have control over.
The-week-that-is is one and no points for guessing which side of the good-bad divide it is on. And worst part is, it is not yet over!!!

It all started with the quiz for the excellers and not the ordinary XLers. Fraxing is not allowed when you are submitting to the demands of the peer organisations. Forget the social, at 6 o’clock in the evening, you are not in a position to take responsibility of your own self. And then suddenly you are reminded of the impending crisis of recovering the sunk cost of the two hrs of sleep you just credited. You raise your hands up in the air and shout out aloud, “I will never play with toys again”, I’d rather be thrown into a burning haven.

Opportunity knocks once they say, opportunity cost knocks you out!!! Sometimes I feel If God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things, right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

Till that forever comes..

Yours sincerely,

MMM