Understanding it "Inside Out"

This one’s for a lot of people
1) For all those who ever read a self-help book
2) For those who ever wanted to know why they behave the way they do
3) For those who ever wondered what emotions are

If you see one movie for self-betterment in a year, see this one. Called "Inside Out", this comes form the house of PIXAR and goes well past the usual PIXAR creatives and fairy-tales, right into your head.

Through a character Riley, which could truly be just me or you, it goes into the subconscious of every human and how emotions govern or misgovern our behaviour.

I’ll not go into too much details of the movie though there are some spoilers here.

It starts with, well, how we are born with two emotions: Joy or Sadness. As we grow, various other emotions take birth in our head, i.e. Disgust, Anger and Fear. All those emotions exist for our good, but when we let any one emotion take complete control, that is when the trouble starts, and the worst of them all, is obviously, Anger.

Each lifestage teaches us somethings and forms a core memory which we fall back on for every future action: Friendship, Family, Fun and Honesty to name a few. These  are core memories which essentially define us, that are a constant source of Joy, in good times and bad. Some core memory might be a source of grief and talks of a time which we would not like repeated.

Joy and Sadness are indeed temporary. When Joy and Sadness fight amongst themselves, they essentially let the other three emotions take control. And if Anger takes control, it is a grave risk to our core memories. The first signs of cracks in core memory of family and friends come because two Anger emotions collide, when none is ready to back down and essentially wants to “put the foot down”. Fear and Disgust are supporting emotions which feed Anger, but Anger takes centrestage.

This Anger then leads to decisions, which an otherwise happy person would not take. Fun and Honesty take the first toll, and Anger continues to grow stronger. The person might want to run away from it all, back to the "Good Old Days" to escape the situations. Joy seem lost in the depths of memory. And if, Joy and Sadness do not arrive in time, the entire structure of the person is soon gone. Will they arrive in time, and how, is the existential question every mind grapples with.

Human mind, through emotions is capable of dealing with any situation. As long as it is a multitude of emotions controlling it. When the response to each adverse situation is any one emotion, situations get worse. You can’t just ignore a bad situation and be happy, neither can you just grieve and do nothing and nor can you just be angry all the time.

And what is more, these emotions are at constant conflict in every human head. Eg: While anger is active in one head, fear might be controlling the other. Not that these two heads can never be together, when Joy is controlling both, they will have a gala time, they will be stronger in family/friendship when Sadness controls both. Joy in one and Joy+Disgust in the other might just create a core memory of Fun!

Philosophical already? Go watch the movie. You will endure 2 hrs of “kiddish, animated movie” but trust me, internalisation is well worth it.

The illusion of Happiness

Happiness,
they say, is,
a synonym if joy,
a symbol of prosperity...

Happiness,
they say, is,
easy to look for,
extremely difficult to find…

Happiness,
they say, is,
for the lucky,
even hard earned…

I DISAGREE

Happiness,
I feel, is,
rarely bought,
always well sold...

Happiness,
I feel, is,
an unknown fear,
a mask of uncertainty…

Happiness,
I feel, is,
a smiling face,
a slowed sullen pulse...

Happiness,
I feel, is,
real-life magic,
the grand illusion...

The Unknown Euphoria

Some days the fate is really kind on you… Those days you will feel an unknown euphoria. You want to jump up in the air and then the mind will tell you to control for this one day is just one amongst the many others where you will want to jump in the air; But directly off a 2000ft stone cliff overhanging a raging sea…

On those good days, you often do not know what it is that made you jump up in air. You never know if this euphoria will last – you sure want it to but fear it might. Just that you are happy and can’t stop smiling.

Or it might be that you know what made you happy but you are afraid if you touch the bubble, it might just burst! Someone pings you to say ‘Hi’ and you check your chat history to be sure it actually happened! Someone calls you and you call back an hour later saying, “Did you call, I’m sorry I was busy that time” though you might have been plucking imaginary petals of imaginary roses to pass time.

Even with that bubble intact, sometimes you wonder if the event was a big enough to get you euphoric. You are like, ‘I drink Coke every day – which special happiness opened today? I talk to people daily, which idol of mine did I talk to today? Or was it my long lost sweetheart calling to say I was missed?’

Or sometimes, you are just plain happy to be happy… anticipating your whole life to be as was today… Hoping you never sleep or even if you do, you wake up with the same euphoria… I shall go to sleep today with this same euphoria… and what is the best part - I KNOW THE REASON TOO :)

Orwell's 1984

As I complete a ‘novel’ after a long time, something, far worse than my worst nightmare, has gripped me. I just felt it needed some release. It was one of the best novels describing the worst form of dystopia. Now I’ve read some Utopian novels and felt they were too optimistic, but I now sure wish they are true. Such is the gruesome reality of the George Orwell’s ‘1984’.

In a nightmarish land (hopefully far, far away and then further), an Outer ‘Party’ worker finds himself in a moral dilemma. In a land where thought is crime, he has committed it. In a land where there are only three ever-lasting and all applicable party principles, Winston Smith finds himself hating the Party but obeying it all the same. What follows is a tale of absolute dystopia and as he shall discover – the price of freedom is betrayal...

Quite unlike other ‘novels’ I read, this one is not based on a story – but more on a belief – a commentary on the world state of affairs. No wonder that so many of the terms used in the book are part of our language and more importantly, part of our lives.

The dystopia, while it is scary, is almost true – and that is the more scary part of it. In a world so connected, all our actions can be governed and even controlled – and with every evolution in psychological science, we are moving towards how not just the actions but also the thought can be read and controlled. What is history but a repeated version of someone’s memory! What if all our thoughts could be controlled – all memory will be linked to one version – ‘Party’s version – and all past can/will be altered according to what the party wants. And so will be our present and hence the future...

In a long narration from Goldstein’s book, Orwell describes how the world we live in operates – how governments and societies function – not just the how but also the why and not just the why but also the how the ‘government’ can remain powerful and how the ‘upper class’ can remain so – all at the cost of the ‘Proles’.

And in the end – when ‘thoughtcrime’ is committed, how Winston is subjected to mental reconstruction through pain, humiliation and of course the legendary ‘Room one-oh-one’.

I’ll leave with a few memorable (and scary) lines from the novel:

• The war is not meant to be won. It is meant to be continuous. The essential act of modern warfare is the destruction of the produce of human labour.


• It is intolerable to us that an erroneous thought should exist anywhere in the world, however secret and powerless it may be. Even in the instance of death we cannot permit any deviation . . . we make the brain perfect before we blow it out.


• If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever.


• WAR IS PEACE
  FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
  IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.


• Who controls the past, controls the future. Who controls the present, controls the past.


• Your worst enemy, he reflected, was your nervous system...


• Under the spreading chestnut tree,
  I sold you... You sold me...


• It was curious to think that the sky was the same for everybody, in Eurasia or Eastasia as well as here. And the people under the sky were also very much the same--everywhere, all over the world, hundreds or thousands of millions of people just like this, people ignorant of one another's existence, held apart by walls of hatred and lies.

And the eternally haunting line - You once asked me, Winston, what was in room 101. I think you know. Everyone does. The thing that is in room 101... is the worst thing in the world.

All in all, a sure MUST READ...

I AM an Isolophobic

I confess. I AM an Isolophobic.
They say, ‘solitude is bliss’. They sure dunno the meaning of either solitude or bliss. Or is there something amiss?

Over the past one month, I’ve come to face my worst fear – of being alone. For a social butterfly like me who HAS to talk with people to stay sane, this life of living alone in a 1000sqft space demarcated by walls to create rooms, can be quite an experience – and not in a good way. They say the only way to get rid of your fears is by facing them head-on. Well, for an isolophobic, this is pretty much the nadir of life and if this can’t get rid of the phobia, nothing can. This is as head-on with isolophobia as I can get.

They tell me I’m in the most wonderful of lands – oh sure I am. Whichever way I look, there are beautiful mountains partially covered by rain-bearing clouds. There are these famous “view-points” where lush green valley extends upto infinity – only cris-crossed by those mountainous rivers flowing aimlessly. Many times, I’d love to be that river – it has those trees that whistle every time it passes through them. I whistle only to myself – that too only when sure no one is looking for it be seen as indecent. It has that boulder which continuously talks to it in that gush language. The only talk I hear is that constant rumble I have in my head. It has those small pebbles that accompany it till it meets other rivers. Those small pebbles are my excel sheets – which constantly hound me till I meet others and even later.

They tell me I get the best food around. The only thing would taste good right now – is a piece of my mind. Well-cooked and deep-fried – treated with lots of boredom – garnished with a sprinkle of irritation, it must taste awesome. It is a stage where I dread the sight of restaurants – eating that big plate of that awesome ‘choumin’ alone or ordering those 4 pieces of paneer day-in-day-out because you know anything else you order will be too much for one person. Those roadside chats have their charm only when you are able to describe how wonderful they taste – when your taste-buds start talking to your teeth, it’s time to stop. Those famous ‘rasgullas’ and ‘ras-malai’ seem to melt no more in your mouth – or they do – a little too quick – they are there for a second and the next, gone – and then all you can think is, “Did I really have that or was it an illusion – must have been one – Phew…”

They tell me they would die to be in my place – oh you need not die – I want you to live – through what I live.

The Mercenary

He was just ten – a toddler in his world full of soldiers – tin soldiers with a metal head and a hollow chest. He was no 10 – for he could carry weights much larger – of those hammers, belts and arrows – all together. He was just ten – he mistook the ticking mechanical sound from those tin soldiers to be a heart-beat. He was no ten – for he could do tasks others twice his size couldn’t – fighting a lone losing battle for example. Not just a battle – but one that was never his own; One that he chose to fight because the king was weak – too weak to even acknowledge his presence – or when he did – follow it up with further battles.

And just like that, after the battle was won – litres of his blood spilt – he walked on – to the next battlefield. And just like that, if the battle was lost, he vowed to come back – never any taller – never any stronger – Just in his battered state – to avenge the defeat – to bring glory to a gory king who never knew he existed. The king – the dear loved king who he idolised – the one with those green eyes which saw everything green – green, not as the expanse of grass before him – but the barren battlefield – greened by the impure blood of the other tin soldiers.

And just like that he fought on – and on – and on – swords flung at him from all sides – including his 'own side'. His own side – or the one he thought was his own – for he never had a side of his own – and also, always did. Every time he turned – whichever way he turned – his back felt a sharp sting – from the hammers, belts and arrows – the sting he was no stranger to – a seasoned hard-bound bag of sand – who ruffled every time it was hit – ruffled to the core – and in no time – reformed to get ready for more. And his king looked on – at times sending a bludgeon to the weak spot – the tender spot – ensuring he was seasoned fully.

Could he run away from battle – but run from which battle – and go where? Back to the loins he came from – to the place he was born – born to fight – or so he thought – thoughts of a warrior –here to please and appease – just waiting for one strong paw of the beasts to pin him down – the thought of being the gladiator – when in fact all he was – was an expendable, replaceable – but always available – a mercenary.

PP

He Cut My Wings Away...

I was a happy li’l tweeter
One tree to another, I flew
Suddenly he came along
And cut my sweet song...

What would happen if suddenly one day I lost the only thing that mattered to me – the only thing that I thought differentiated me – the thing that made my survival worth it.

It was the moment that I waited for
The victory would’ve been mine
Today would’ve been my day
Had he not cut my wings away...

I was planning for things to come. My future looked bright. The only thing I was afraid of was uncertainty. Alas, that had the last laugh...

To stay alive, I fought hard
The breath was snuffed out
The claw curled, I clung on
Lest in death I be frowned upon...

It wasn’t just myself that I was leaving behind. I didn’t have to be the joke. I was the brave tweeter who would will his way out of things... I wouldn’t give up, not now... I couldn’t be myself but I could still be someone. I’d live my life as that someone.

Those final steps I had to make
Just go that one more tile
Though would I fly in the rain
Never be the tweeter again...

The unknown. The unobtrusive. But I’d live. It was just three steps... one... two... three... Almost there... Like so many others who had been... But I was no “other”. I was the tweeter. I had to claim my right to the six feet of space. The three steps for the six feet...

Those three steps is why I live
First for my sweetheart
Two for the clouds cast
And three to relive the past...

And I survived. He could take my wings but I flew higher. Or could I? May be I couldn’t. He took my wings... Oh, he didn’t take my dreams. I could dream of flying higher. But would I? Probably I would. I was the tweeter... I shouldn’t give up... Or should I???

A day of few firsts...

It was a day of two firsts – One negative and a few other positives. 

The positives first... It was the second round of Nokia Coliseum, my first corporate presentation – a novice attempt, I must say. I generally have starting problems but today was also my first presentation to a packed hall and I did not stutter in the intro - Did I get the message across, I'm still waiting for someone to tell me tht!!!

The first round was a good success with the video getting a good number of hits on youtube and even getting rated in “top ten (#2)” of videos under the category “Education”!!! The second round, well the results are not out as yet, but according to me, the presentation did not exactly convey the preparation. I had done a lot of data mining to identify segments, their attractiveness and the touchpoints for potential N97 customers. These however were not clear from the presentation. There were a few other shortcomings and thanks to many reviews and suggestions by the seniors, I’m richer in experience if not the 5800!!! How much I appreciate a true critical remark! Win or lose, here comes my first CV point in XL ;-)

And now in one line the negative– I bunked class but was not absent for the first time in life!!!

PP

An Experience to remember - Part 1

There are experiences you have which u remember for a long time... Some good, and also some not-so-good (Note: NOT bad; just “not-so-good”). The SIP process was in the second category. This process, a new learning for me had so many moments that shall remain burnt to my memory that I shall distribute them over multiple posts – each looking over one aspect of the process. This shall be the prelude post.

It was end of September... the days had started to get shorter and longer at the same time. The sun set early but XLers worked late. And surprisingly, it was the start of the term. Why then, would students strain themselves? It was the term where the SIP would take place... SIP – an acronym for many different names (including “some idiotic process”) is the life of a B-Schooler in his second term. Two months before the start, CVs get ready. They are resurrected from depths of mediocrity under the special guidance of the experienced seniors. That they never are perfect is another matter!!!

Then there are the company PPTs. Each trying to woo the students with promise of “live projects”, “structured processes”, “hands-on experience” and some with pizzas and goodies (which btw remain the only point of differentiation after a score of PPTs...). If there is one purpose these accomplish, it is to let the students know that we are here and we want you. XL is a brand. XLers carry along with them a name tag which is worth a lot. Xlers have a responsibility to fulfil. And the XLers resolve to continue the legacy. Xlers shall put their best foot-forward.

Then there are special GBMs called for giving a feel of the process, mock (ing) process and GDs and interviews. Each GBM institutes a sense of fear and anticipation in the junior junta. Gyaan is dispensed off with ease. And yes, a lot of it is actually for the purpose it is depicted to be (others just exercise their put options ;))

You know its SIP time when things start to heat up, when tension rules the roost, when class-strength grows thin, when BFA, Kotler, Law books come to the fore, when the library sees some off-take of books and some in-take of students, when Classrooms (LH1,2) are lit up with people working even in the wee hours of the night, when the marketing blogs and investopedia replace the chat windows and even the FRAXers are seen with “things-to-do” lists.

That Diwali came and went was pushed into oblivion... Noone remembers what they did on Diwali, which btw, was less than a week back.

And thus began SIP... To be continued

MMM

Read other parts here: Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Related Posts: All About GDs, Application Process

Diwali @ XL

There’s always something about XL that makes u put ur hands up in the air and say – WoW...

I have stayed in hostel for last four years now but the feeling of a home-away-from-home never came... This Diwali changed it all... Little did it matter that I have spent most of my Diwalis at home... Little did it matter that I’ve friends who I have known only for the last half a year... Little did it matter that I am in a small city like Jamshedpur which knows how to celebrate but without pomp and show... The only thing that mattered ultimately was that we all are Xlers... It was a Diwali that transcended the wall between the Profs and the students... the seniors and the juniors... the bummers and IRs...

Till the evening, I was sad... There was no Diwali in the atmosphere... there were no lights around... There was palpable tension of the oncoming SIP... The crackers were silent... And then the sun set... And this was a sunset that signalled the dawn of life in XL... Lights all around... Sounds of crackers... And slowly after a sober Lakshmi-Poojan, it was fun and frolic. Students dressed up in their best (Not the business suits pls...) came down to celebrate. The Profs opened up their doors to students and all classes were forgotten as students celebrated the welcome change from the mess food. There were delicacies from the south, savouries from the north, munch-ins from the west and the ever-so-wanted sweets from the east... I’ve stayed in residential campuses all my life but ask me if I’ve felt the feeling of being one big family as today and I’d give an emphatic NO as my reply..!!! After visiting the Profs’ house there was the PlaceCom GBM (Sssshhhhhh...). But that too was filled with enthu for the following cracker-show...

Then, for an hour, the only sounds were those of crackers and the only lights were those of lamps and sparklers. From the loud sounds of the “atom bomb” to the playful “aloo bomb”, from the bright aerial rockets to the sparkling lights... it was Diwali everywhere. And most noticeable of all, there was the light emanating from the bright faces... lit by joy... overshadowing the tiring hrs spent on CVs and preparation...

Antakshari followed... where winning was the last objective... and celebration was the first (ok not just the prized chocolate pack)!!!

Its 2:40 in the wee hours of the morning... and the crackers just keep going on... It’s the freshers’ time now... the terrace of GH1 plays host to them...

And while my family-in-Xl enjoys, I rejoice in their happiness... my dearest pal exercising put options, with roomy searching and finalising same, kiddo NOT getting smaller by the minute, and going ‘CR’azy about the sub-Prime crisis, the two hunks, fail to stay apart ;) I love you guys...

Happy again,

MMM

Memoirs from NITK...

Dear Blog,

Some memories never fade out, certain good ones and certain bad ones.
Bad ones... You try so hard to forget them that every time you decide you want to forget them, they are re-enforced. But today I’m not talking of them... Today I’ll talk only one sequence of good memories... a glimpse of my NITK memoirs... some good ones that I may never forget. They are so relieving that I keep getting reminded of them. Every time I see any related happening, I am reminded of them. Every time I log on to Gtalk, its these memories I meet...

It’s still the NITK guys (and gals) who occupy majority of my gtalk contact list. It’s still them who I talk to when I need any advice or help. The active google-group is a testimonial of the fact that my other classmates too share this feeling. Chindu never fails to come up wid the most ingenious PJ. Bulla (today i learnt he’s the CEO-to-be) can’t be less professional (we knw whr he learnt his professionalism from!!!). Prasanna (wen he’s not tryin to beat chindu at his game) and Nair have to come up wid their condi statements oh-so-often...

And my juniors... One part of me wants to remain 24x7 online for them... he’s SPOC for anything on Engi, ISTE or anything for that matter. They still are so dear to me for all the good times I shared with them. Probably I wasn’t as tensed about my placements as I was when I was told about the bleak scene this yr. The pics from the trips and treats will keep reminding me what they mean to me... And my sis from nowhere... the ever-so-bubbly chess-queen... who I met only in the final yr but wish had met earlier...

Then there's my spl gang (this merits another complete entry which shall come sometime soon)... all of whom are curently working with various corporates... How I miss those overnight F.R.I.E.N.D.S screenings... those DVD burning sprees... those arbit discussions about nothing... the infinite eggs at Sundar... The overnight PJ cracking with noone to beat sid or rathi... These memories are so special to me...

And there are always wanderlust and logik who keep me abreast with the latest in techie-geek world... and some other cool stuffs and issues too... And also Pachi, who I knw will remain the php-god till i meet Rasmus Lerdorf himself.

And when I’m not online... there’s the lone silver ornament on my right hand... that reveals my true identity... I am and shall always remain, NITKIAN, Batch of 2008.

Missing my alma mater,
MMM

The joy of creation...

Dear Blog,

They say there is no joy which matches the joy of seeing ur creation perform well. Today was the day I felt that joy after a long time. Today was my first experience at organisation in XL – the Tiger 5s football tourney.

It was the first meeting of sportscom and the junior sportscom decided it wud not be just another sports event. This sportscom would beat tradition and do something innovative. And so was decided to hold 5-a-side football. There were starting problems, with members suggesting we go for a wholesome 4-course thing instead of just a starter. Due to shortage of available dates (thankfully) we stuck to the T20 version of football. But then, none of us knew the exact rules of futsal (the mini version of football). So we had to create them and hope no one found loopholes and flaws. After one trial session, we thought about how we could make teams score more goals and implement trick shots and passing stunts instead of playing a defensive game. And then came the most difficult phase of forming rules and putting them to test... First game in the tourney just vindicated out preparations. And then on, it was smooth sailing.

I dunno how I can describe what I felt on the success of the tourney. The joy of creation of all rules and the game in general far surpasses other joys i experiences during the day.

Obviously, the start of the next day was awesome owing largely to a meticulous preparation by a friend’s sweet roomy... Happy birthday :)

Rejoicing in the glory of a successful evening and the early morning,
MMM

Reflections

Dear Blog,

It was early June when I was informed about the waitlist getting cleared and me getting admitted to one of the top B-Schools in the country, XL (officially, XLRI School of Business and Human Resources). Now, I sit at home, at the end of first term, thinking, was giving up a white-collar job in an IT-Major worth it?

The first few days, till the time we finished our “prep-course” and had the grand welcome on the first ever wet-night, were full of fun and wondering what the next two months would be like. I cannot thank the seniors enough for teaching me how to stay awake late though through unconventional ways ;). Then started the drill... The drill of squeezing all that’s left of a fresh graduate... But then, that is what managers are made of - Nothing!!!

There were OHT sessions in finance which knocked me out and left me wondering if I was on the right ladder!! Economics brought me back to life and gave me some hope. Just when I thought I could survive the bludgeon, the QT cane hit me hard and no "Poojan" or "Prasadam" could parry the intellectual demons. And then it was a series of malice tipped arrows fired at me from every angle. The aim then was, not to learn to make a living; it was to live to finish my learning!!! I forgot what excellence meant, it was plain survival. Finish tasks that fetch me a tenth of the total grade in little more than a tenth of the day.

Little did I realise that, in doing so, I was not just doing my best, it turned out to be the best that the time could allow. I realised that by doing so, I ensured I gained the maximum out of every subject (ok except one).

My learning from the first term (In no way exhaustive):

• First and foremost, friends are your biggest assets. Only they cannot be represented in monetary terms and thus are not a part of the balance sheet. But life takes into account these very intangible assets and bigger this asset item, the bigger is your balance sheet. Alas... Accountants and their principle of conservatism...
  
• 
• I can debit/credit a transaction. (slight errors permitted). I can analyse company financial reports and say how well they are doing (this info though should not be substituted for expert opinions)
• I know a person for high need for achievement/power when I see one. Need for affiliation... Why can’t I see beyond flattery!!
• I can identify segments and targets of companies and products (did anyone notice the shift of target of “SugarFree” from diabetics to general health conscious populace??)
• I know why government taxes cigarettes while subsidising wheat and rice.
• But most important of all, I can remain awake till 2 every night and not complain about work-induced health disorders!!

Relaxing,
MMM

P.S. It took a lot of will-power to not write about the end-term (not to mention one specific ET)

Achieving your Childhood Dreams...

Dear Blog,

I never thought I could listen to a lecture on “Achieving Childhood Dreams” with so much interest. I’m no cynic but after so many gurus and sadhus, I just assume all these lectures on philosophy and outlook on life are so boring and predictable, I don’t consider them worth my time. What made me listen to this one?? Well, as usual, I was spending time on my favourite pastime – Googling. Came across this video... What struck me was that it had been downloaded and seen more than 6 million times in less than one year..!! Decided, when so many people are watching it, it must have something unique.

And to no surprise, it did not disappoint me. Effortlessly, Dr. Randy Pausch takes you through his childhood dreams and how he learnt to nurture others’ childhood dreams. You cannot but have lessons to learn. For fear of spoiling the essence, I shall just quote a few “Quotable Quotes” from the lecture and provide the link to the same.

• “When you are screwing up and noone’s telling you how bad you are, that means they have given up on you.
• “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”
• “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
• “Brick walls are not there to prevent you from getting what you want badly. Brick walls are there to stop people who want it badly enough.”
• “There are both ways of saying I don’t know but there is a good way and a bad way.”

No wonder he was called "The dying man who taught America how to live". Sadly, this great teacher breathed his last on July 25 earlier this year.

Can't see the video?? Click here

To read about Randy Pausch, Click Here or Here or Here

In prayer,

MMM

An evening for myself

Dear Blog,

Today was a mixed day for me. The morning was spent trying to figure out the thoughts of one of the most unpredictable yet brilliant minds out there. The next few hours were spent trying to figure out what to write on a "Cheat-Sheet" before finally giving up and deciding to take the bull by the horns.. to cross the river when it comes.. And I was not completely wrong in my decision...

Come 1830 hrs, the fantabulous lump of matter had figured out the teesra while all of us gunned our eyes on the doosra. It was no wonder many of left the exam hall wondering if the course actually made us better at the subject. For few of us, it was outright strange while for others, it was just unknown. Well, the lesser said about it, the better it is...

It was the however, the begining of the evening for myself.
It was close to 2300 hrs. With my head screaming for someone to hammer it down, I decided to say goodbye to the world for the night and take a trip to my dreamland... And I did just that, albeit with a cup of coffee in my hand and not my screeching head. For two hours long, I spoke. I spoke with a purpose... To speak!!! No analgesic works as well as a receptive listener who promises to be there to listen to you.

"Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them", Author Unknown. My irrational feelings make even more sense when we understand they need not have anything behind them, that is just the way I feel. No questions asked, none given. No explainations sought, none ventured. Just plain words accepted at face value.

Did Alice enjoy her wonderland trip? She sure hadn't visited my dreamland!! It is 0300 Hrs and I've not been at such peace for last one month.

Yours,

MMM

P.S. Suggested Readings:

• Please Listen
  
• The "good" life

One Week Ago

Dear Blog,

This should have come one week back but owing to the infinite assignments and projects...
Thankfully, late submission will not be returned or penalised...

Heres it goes..

Every good thing has an end, they say... No one says talks of the bad. Do bad things ever come to an end? Well, seems they too do. What then is the difference between the good and the bad? Good things are forgotten... bad haunt you for the days to come if not your whole life. Good things leave u happy for a day, bad, they leave you battered and tattered for many more. Good things, well others know about it and it shows, bad, you know it and the others simply assume it. Does it show? It does and not always in ways you have control over.
The-week-that-is is one and no points for guessing which side of the good-bad divide it is on. And worst part is, it is not yet over!!!

It all started with the quiz for the excellers and not the ordinary XLers. Fraxing is not allowed when you are submitting to the demands of the peer organisations. Forget the social, at 6 o’clock in the evening, you are not in a position to take responsibility of your own self. And then suddenly you are reminded of the impending crisis of recovering the sunk cost of the two hrs of sleep you just credited. You raise your hands up in the air and shout out aloud, “I will never play with toys again”, I’d rather be thrown into a burning haven.

Opportunity knocks once they say, opportunity cost knocks you out!!! Sometimes I feel If God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things, right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

Till that forever comes..

Yours sincerely,

MMM