The Unknown Euphoria

Some days the fate is really kind on you… Those days you will feel an unknown euphoria. You want to jump up in the air and then the mind will tell you to control for this one day is just one amongst the many others where you will want to jump in the air; But directly off a 2000ft stone cliff overhanging a raging sea…

On those good days, you often do not know what it is that made you jump up in air. You never know if this euphoria will last – you sure want it to but fear it might. Just that you are happy and can’t stop smiling.

Or it might be that you know what made you happy but you are afraid if you touch the bubble, it might just burst! Someone pings you to say ‘Hi’ and you check your chat history to be sure it actually happened! Someone calls you and you call back an hour later saying, “Did you call, I’m sorry I was busy that time” though you might have been plucking imaginary petals of imaginary roses to pass time.

Even with that bubble intact, sometimes you wonder if the event was a big enough to get you euphoric. You are like, ‘I drink Coke every day – which special happiness opened today? I talk to people daily, which idol of mine did I talk to today? Or was it my long lost sweetheart calling to say I was missed?’

Or sometimes, you are just plain happy to be happy… anticipating your whole life to be as was today… Hoping you never sleep or even if you do, you wake up with the same euphoria… I shall go to sleep today with this same euphoria… and what is the best part - I KNOW THE REASON TOO :)

Reflections - Part III (Term 3 @ XL)

Dear Blog,
Click to read Term 1 and Term 2

The third term, the end of the first year, the term where you suddenly realised you are alone in the college without the seniors to guide you at every step, where realise you will soon stop being a student and start being a manager, was, for me, a mixture of both achievements and failures, promises kept and vows broken.

The travel did not, at all, augur well for a good third term at XL... it was hectic from the start and running train experience was indeed a new one – though I must say, exhilarating one too.

If I thought, the term was more eventful at the beginning compared to the last term, the near-end events were beyond the usual definition of “eventful”. XLRI sure was a happening place!!!

It started with a lot of firsts for me – the first dance class, the first CV point, the first bunk and proxy and a few more... The first dance lesson (I guess it was Salsa) was something I would remember for more reasons than one. Then started the chain of events that reminded me of the classic line by William Davies’,

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs...

Starting with the formation of Team Services – the vow taken to repay in kind all the help that we extracted out of the seniors – the vow taken not to rest till each one of them was placed – the vow taken to not complain of missed classes for something more important than any grade was at stake. And successful the vow was.

Simultaneous was the formation of the Maxi Admin Team for the Maxi Fair – by far the grandest event in XL in terms of student participation. Meetings through the night and door-to-door selling through the day. The whole junior batch prepared for keeping up a 30-yr old tradition of excellence. And successful the effort was.

No, it did not go by without a sad thought – I missed my first graduation ceremony– for the fiercest rivalry known to B-Schools in the India – the legendary XL-IIMC meet. I so wanted to be there but there were responsibilities – not just of the meet but also the vows taken. Forever shall I remain “unconvocated”.

The Valentine’s Day passed without a thought about it – it was the day of reckoning – it was Day ZERO. The scene wasn’t too good but did we say we were giving up!!! The fight would go on – right up to the last man standing. We were battling the worst nightmare of a B-Schooler – the worst crisis of the century – on and on it went – for a good long 74 days - and we would be victorious.

Unfortunately the battle was not the lone battle I was involved in – the academic battle was far from over!!! By no means was this an easy term. There was the “Research” and the “Operation” though hardly any “Production” – even Strategic reproduction was hampered due to the slower net speeds and the other battlefront engaged in a full scale war!!! As usual, before I knew what hit me, the End-Terms were overhead. Thanks to my group-mates, many of my projects were completed in time and that left me with the only worry of eliminating the ghosts of the exams – which I must say has never been my forte.

Learnings from the past term:

1. The grass is greener on the other side but what is the other side!!!
2. Naive ain’t useless – it is the only thing that works. Any other forecast will turn out to be too complicated for the uncomplicated market.
3. If you can’t explain it, match it to some unknown factor. If you can’t match it, redefine it – all economic theories are based on this simple funda.
4. What do managers do – Strategise – aka hold long closed door meetings – to decide crucial issues like whether the grass looks better dark green or light.
5. What worked in 1950 works now!!! You can’t work it out??? Well.... you dint study in class 6th and 7th, why sob now...
6. If you can’t do it, ask your virtual self to do it...
7. And once again, never the least of all, friends are your biggest assets. Once a while they may promise you a toy and forget, once a while they may make you feel small enough to drown in little drops of water but more often than not, they will be the balancing figure to match-up your balance-sheets. No inequation with friends can be solved as their shadow price is simply infinity. Their importance is a exponentially increasing curve with alpha>1... To all ye friends...

PP

An Experience to Remember - The Concluding Part

Dear Blog,

After the GBM, it might be seen as repetition... but I dint feel that justice was done by a mere applause... The effort put by the seniors was exceptional to say the least.

It started with helping people turn empty sub-standard CVs to masterpieces which were often self-deceiving... each one formatted to perfection... more like being crafted to exquisite forms of art...!!! Thank you dear mentors... Then there were individual interviews and GDs. Not just any GDs, there were “Chairman’s GDs”, case GDs and every other type (though most of them turned to a common fish-market was another matter). As the forms started pouring in, Gyaan followed.

And this was the beginning...

The first call to SIP was given by a melodious rendition of “Bhayee Bhorrrrr”... And as we entered the holding area, biscuits and juice packs awaited us... Served on a platter, we knew we were in for few days of pampering... Team services had all planned for all of us... to meet all our needs at all times of the day... all with a faces lit by brilliance of a 1000W smile. From the early morning snack to the late-night munchies, Services made sure no person was left wanting.

One certain incident which I shall never forget... I was down... just not out... I wished to eat a sandwich... made a request for it... five mins was all I waited for me to be served... thts it??? No... Not just one senior to help me out with my mental state but two of them... Suddenly I felt pity for the companies that rejected me... A feeling of being important engulfed me... I felt wanted... Too bad the companies couldn’t gauge my potential... A smile lit up my face and I spent the day happy though I couldn’t manage to sign-out!!! One fine morning, as I entered the holding area, I was offered a biscuit but what made my day was the feeling attached to it. I decided today was gonna be my day... And so it was!!!

There were moments when people vented their pent-up anger on the team services and all the team did was smile back and say... did u have food? Want anything else... some juice, cold drink? Outside the holding area, you could see the tension and fatigue on their faces but all they had for us juniors was the famed smile. But for team services, GAK how many more people would have broken down and found themselves in abysses they could never have recover from. There might be numerous allegations against every other team... every other person... But Team Services was simply loved by all. Kudos to the team...

Then there was the Team-Controls. I dunno wat software they designed... and thankfully did not have to know it too... for they functioned so efficiently... brilliantly managing multiple parallel GDs, interviews along with maintaining pecking sheets and databases... all with the calm of the deep sea... The target of most abuses, team controls was impeccable with their job.

And last of all, the StuCos and CoCos... they were the last point of contact before a candidate entered the gallows. They ensured the prospective candidate was well prepared... more mentally than factually. The last bit of confidence-boosting was done by these seniors. How can I forget the invaluable tips I received from the CoCos before the numerous GDs I attended (I must have let them down for I went to more than 15 GDs without success.... Gawd.. how bad a learner am I)

Revelling in the experience of SIP,

MMM

P.S. Also in the series: Part 1 - Prelude, Part 2 - The beginings, Part 3 - The process

P.S2: PlaceCom and CRISP - I dont feel qualified enuf to put into words the part played. No appreciation is good enuf.

Escapade

Inebriation is the best form of awakening. Inebriation is the best form of freedom. Inebriation is the best form of truth. Inebriation is the best form of bonding. Inebriation is the best form of true love.

Inebriation is the best time for jokes. Inebriation is the best time for games. Inebriation is the best time for making lasting friends. Inebriation is the best time for telling the world you are what you are.

Spl when it’s the other person who is in the subconscious, truthful, frank and elevated state...

In light of personal experience of the same, I rest my case.

MMM

P.S.: Successor post to "An Experience to Remember - Part 1" shall come soon...

Diwali @ XL

There’s always something about XL that makes u put ur hands up in the air and say – WoW...

I have stayed in hostel for last four years now but the feeling of a home-away-from-home never came... This Diwali changed it all... Little did it matter that I have spent most of my Diwalis at home... Little did it matter that I’ve friends who I have known only for the last half a year... Little did it matter that I am in a small city like Jamshedpur which knows how to celebrate but without pomp and show... The only thing that mattered ultimately was that we all are Xlers... It was a Diwali that transcended the wall between the Profs and the students... the seniors and the juniors... the bummers and IRs...

Till the evening, I was sad... There was no Diwali in the atmosphere... there were no lights around... There was palpable tension of the oncoming SIP... The crackers were silent... And then the sun set... And this was a sunset that signalled the dawn of life in XL... Lights all around... Sounds of crackers... And slowly after a sober Lakshmi-Poojan, it was fun and frolic. Students dressed up in their best (Not the business suits pls...) came down to celebrate. The Profs opened up their doors to students and all classes were forgotten as students celebrated the welcome change from the mess food. There were delicacies from the south, savouries from the north, munch-ins from the west and the ever-so-wanted sweets from the east... I’ve stayed in residential campuses all my life but ask me if I’ve felt the feeling of being one big family as today and I’d give an emphatic NO as my reply..!!! After visiting the Profs’ house there was the PlaceCom GBM (Sssshhhhhh...). But that too was filled with enthu for the following cracker-show...

Then, for an hour, the only sounds were those of crackers and the only lights were those of lamps and sparklers. From the loud sounds of the “atom bomb” to the playful “aloo bomb”, from the bright aerial rockets to the sparkling lights... it was Diwali everywhere. And most noticeable of all, there was the light emanating from the bright faces... lit by joy... overshadowing the tiring hrs spent on CVs and preparation...

Antakshari followed... where winning was the last objective... and celebration was the first (ok not just the prized chocolate pack)!!!

Its 2:40 in the wee hours of the morning... and the crackers just keep going on... It’s the freshers’ time now... the terrace of GH1 plays host to them...

And while my family-in-Xl enjoys, I rejoice in their happiness... my dearest pal exercising put options, with roomy searching and finalising same, kiddo NOT getting smaller by the minute, and going ‘CR’azy about the sub-Prime crisis, the two hunks, fail to stay apart ;) I love you guys...

Happy again,

MMM

I'm happy today

Dear Blog,

There are many reasons I’d be happy today... some told many untold... I’ll share the former here.

There is something in me that can’t tolerate sad people... and even more so, seeing people sad. And when I’m happy, I know I’ve seen a happy person or at least made an attempt (with some success) to make someone happy. And that was all that made me happy today...

To start off – saw the speech I had written for the MCN class and smiled to myself... said to myself, “I’m so damned if I am asked to speak today...!!!” and couldn’t help but smile... Made myself happy!!! Nice beginning for the day...

Then saw happy faces around (some, in spite of bashings received)... looked like some turtle-heads which had retracted to their shells for the tumultuous time had made their way out with a smile... Thoughts about the wonderful learning from the session we just had (and in general) and further smiles. Did it mean there were no hectic schedules for the day, negative!!! This is the power of the human mind. It can selectively filter moments of joy out of a raging ocean.

The last one, I dunno if it really qualifies to be here... We had gone on a “village trip” and seen some sad faces there. We were asked to propose solutions to turn them into smiles. A humorous and most certainly impractical one though, we presented a solution. TATA could not sell trucks as vehemently as we did. It may not have brought smiles that were intended but I felt satisfied that I did at least think of it. (It sure did bring smiles to the panel)

Do I not knw that these smiles I try to create are not the complete truth... But then wat is... So for the time being... I’ll be happy...

Well, happy till those smiles last. As they say, I’m living the dream, enjoying the life in the matrix,, floating on cloud nine...

MMM

Memoirs from NITK...

Dear Blog,

Some memories never fade out, certain good ones and certain bad ones.
Bad ones... You try so hard to forget them that every time you decide you want to forget them, they are re-enforced. But today I’m not talking of them... Today I’ll talk only one sequence of good memories... a glimpse of my NITK memoirs... some good ones that I may never forget. They are so relieving that I keep getting reminded of them. Every time I see any related happening, I am reminded of them. Every time I log on to Gtalk, its these memories I meet...

It’s still the NITK guys (and gals) who occupy majority of my gtalk contact list. It’s still them who I talk to when I need any advice or help. The active google-group is a testimonial of the fact that my other classmates too share this feeling. Chindu never fails to come up wid the most ingenious PJ. Bulla (today i learnt he’s the CEO-to-be) can’t be less professional (we knw whr he learnt his professionalism from!!!). Prasanna (wen he’s not tryin to beat chindu at his game) and Nair have to come up wid their condi statements oh-so-often...

And my juniors... One part of me wants to remain 24x7 online for them... he’s SPOC for anything on Engi, ISTE or anything for that matter. They still are so dear to me for all the good times I shared with them. Probably I wasn’t as tensed about my placements as I was when I was told about the bleak scene this yr. The pics from the trips and treats will keep reminding me what they mean to me... And my sis from nowhere... the ever-so-bubbly chess-queen... who I met only in the final yr but wish had met earlier...

Then there's my spl gang (this merits another complete entry which shall come sometime soon)... all of whom are curently working with various corporates... How I miss those overnight F.R.I.E.N.D.S screenings... those DVD burning sprees... those arbit discussions about nothing... the infinite eggs at Sundar... The overnight PJ cracking with noone to beat sid or rathi... These memories are so special to me...

And there are always wanderlust and logik who keep me abreast with the latest in techie-geek world... and some other cool stuffs and issues too... And also Pachi, who I knw will remain the php-god till i meet Rasmus Lerdorf himself.

And when I’m not online... there’s the lone silver ornament on my right hand... that reveals my true identity... I am and shall always remain, NITKIAN, Batch of 2008.

Missing my alma mater,
MMM

The joy of creation...

Dear Blog,

They say there is no joy which matches the joy of seeing ur creation perform well. Today was the day I felt that joy after a long time. Today was my first experience at organisation in XL – the Tiger 5s football tourney.

It was the first meeting of sportscom and the junior sportscom decided it wud not be just another sports event. This sportscom would beat tradition and do something innovative. And so was decided to hold 5-a-side football. There were starting problems, with members suggesting we go for a wholesome 4-course thing instead of just a starter. Due to shortage of available dates (thankfully) we stuck to the T20 version of football. But then, none of us knew the exact rules of futsal (the mini version of football). So we had to create them and hope no one found loopholes and flaws. After one trial session, we thought about how we could make teams score more goals and implement trick shots and passing stunts instead of playing a defensive game. And then came the most difficult phase of forming rules and putting them to test... First game in the tourney just vindicated out preparations. And then on, it was smooth sailing.

I dunno how I can describe what I felt on the success of the tourney. The joy of creation of all rules and the game in general far surpasses other joys i experiences during the day.

Obviously, the start of the next day was awesome owing largely to a meticulous preparation by a friend’s sweet roomy... Happy birthday :)

Rejoicing in the glory of a successful evening and the early morning,
MMM

And then there were none...

Dear Blog

What do you do when you have to talk something... There is a compulsive desire to talk... but you dunno if what you feel will come out in words? How do you express the language that you yourself do not understand? What do you do when your mind starts playing games with you? You know it wants to free itself from those shackles which the world has put upon it but the key to the lock is locked deep inside the brain. The language of expression of this deep-rooted turmoil is further turmoil.

What do you do when all you want to do is run around... or sit and count the twinkling stars... or idle away time dreaming about neverland...

And it is these times, the times when even talking to your own self is the toughest task at hand that I sit and thank Justin Hall. It is these times when the net becomes the closest ‘secretkeeper’ and the keyboard the ‘keymaker’. Call me a loner if u must but it is these times that I try hardest to cherish!!!

In introspection,

MMM

Reflections

Dear Blog,

It was early June when I was informed about the waitlist getting cleared and me getting admitted to one of the top B-Schools in the country, XL (officially, XLRI School of Business and Human Resources). Now, I sit at home, at the end of first term, thinking, was giving up a white-collar job in an IT-Major worth it?

The first few days, till the time we finished our “prep-course” and had the grand welcome on the first ever wet-night, were full of fun and wondering what the next two months would be like. I cannot thank the seniors enough for teaching me how to stay awake late though through unconventional ways ;). Then started the drill... The drill of squeezing all that’s left of a fresh graduate... But then, that is what managers are made of - Nothing!!!

There were OHT sessions in finance which knocked me out and left me wondering if I was on the right ladder!! Economics brought me back to life and gave me some hope. Just when I thought I could survive the bludgeon, the QT cane hit me hard and no "Poojan" or "Prasadam" could parry the intellectual demons. And then it was a series of malice tipped arrows fired at me from every angle. The aim then was, not to learn to make a living; it was to live to finish my learning!!! I forgot what excellence meant, it was plain survival. Finish tasks that fetch me a tenth of the total grade in little more than a tenth of the day.

Little did I realise that, in doing so, I was not just doing my best, it turned out to be the best that the time could allow. I realised that by doing so, I ensured I gained the maximum out of every subject (ok except one).

My learning from the first term (In no way exhaustive):

• First and foremost, friends are your biggest assets. Only they cannot be represented in monetary terms and thus are not a part of the balance sheet. But life takes into account these very intangible assets and bigger this asset item, the bigger is your balance sheet. Alas... Accountants and their principle of conservatism...
  
• 
• I can debit/credit a transaction. (slight errors permitted). I can analyse company financial reports and say how well they are doing (this info though should not be substituted for expert opinions)
• I know a person for high need for achievement/power when I see one. Need for affiliation... Why can’t I see beyond flattery!!
• I can identify segments and targets of companies and products (did anyone notice the shift of target of “SugarFree” from diabetics to general health conscious populace??)
• I know why government taxes cigarettes while subsidising wheat and rice.
• But most important of all, I can remain awake till 2 every night and not complain about work-induced health disorders!!

Relaxing,
MMM

P.S. It took a lot of will-power to not write about the end-term (not to mention one specific ET)

An evening for myself

Dear Blog,

Today was a mixed day for me. The morning was spent trying to figure out the thoughts of one of the most unpredictable yet brilliant minds out there. The next few hours were spent trying to figure out what to write on a "Cheat-Sheet" before finally giving up and deciding to take the bull by the horns.. to cross the river when it comes.. And I was not completely wrong in my decision...

Come 1830 hrs, the fantabulous lump of matter had figured out the teesra while all of us gunned our eyes on the doosra. It was no wonder many of left the exam hall wondering if the course actually made us better at the subject. For few of us, it was outright strange while for others, it was just unknown. Well, the lesser said about it, the better it is...

It was the however, the begining of the evening for myself.
It was close to 2300 hrs. With my head screaming for someone to hammer it down, I decided to say goodbye to the world for the night and take a trip to my dreamland... And I did just that, albeit with a cup of coffee in my hand and not my screeching head. For two hours long, I spoke. I spoke with a purpose... To speak!!! No analgesic works as well as a receptive listener who promises to be there to listen to you.

"Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them", Author Unknown. My irrational feelings make even more sense when we understand they need not have anything behind them, that is just the way I feel. No questions asked, none given. No explainations sought, none ventured. Just plain words accepted at face value.

Did Alice enjoy her wonderland trip? She sure hadn't visited my dreamland!! It is 0300 Hrs and I've not been at such peace for last one month.

Yours,

MMM

P.S. Suggested Readings:

• Please Listen
  
• The "good" life